"Trust me, the word trust is overstated". I realized after I said it. Instantaneously, we all laughed. It was in my MGT class today. And again, twice this evening I heard '' trust me" and "trust is so important".
How many times we have heard 'trust me'? Trust - too big a word to be uttered just like that. I really wonder if they truly mean when they say it. Both in personal life and at work place. Trust is the manifestation of sincere thoughts about one another on one another, I believe. It can bring miraculous changes in our life. It is a crucial factor to boost your morale in workplace. Once you loose trust, it takes years to rebuild it, trust me. (You can trust me) Oh, what a world we are living in! I laughed when I heard 'oh, we are very open, we can discuss anything in each other presence'. Excuse me?
Do you know what is the common cause of families falling apart? - Trust. I am pretty sure, you know more than I know about relationship break ups - Trust. Do you know how many companies are having internal crises? - Trust. Some companies are successful - Trust. You can make impossibilities possible. It is like winning a girl's heart, not easy. (By the by, I learnt from my students even winning the girl's heart is easier than thought! That's sad, shouldn't happen).
Having said that, I would love to trust you, but how could I?
Sorry - I am sorry to say, I don't believe in the word anymore. From Bill Clinton to Tiger Woods and Tony Blair to my dear Mr T, the unknown, are never afraid to use. It has become a ritual, like many other. They know that a simple sorry can not make things right. But still they say it. They are not ignorant of their doings and that is the best part. Even the said sorry is not genuine to trust. Oh, yeah, it is human to err. Let me remind you of two things: 1) it is not human to err repeatedly and 2) I thought you are humans with a difference - educated to enough to know the right and wrong!
Stress- once the word had a medical connotation and now it is like any other word. I was surprised when a 17 year old student told me, "I am stressed Ms Sentha". I doubt if she hardly lived enough to be stressed! Every one of us are here to prove something or other, always chasing the impermanent things. Well, impermanent things is again very subjective. At the end, it depends what we want. One cannot escape from being stressed these days. Well we only can manage stress. During the discussion, a student asked me," Ms, how can we not be stressed?" I smiled. I don't know if he knows how much stressed I am! I told him to prioritize and to take things one at a time. You can't imagine walking with two legs up. And that's not walking.
If you are not stressed, you are not having a busy life. Well, since you said it!
Of course, there is a small group which does not belong to this category. They don't even care to say sorry. Let us not worry about them. And, there is another group - news channels. An overstatement of everything - catastrophe ever in the decade, the biggest loser ever in history, ever and never, etc., etc.
Anything that is overdone looses its meaning. If you really mean - prove it please, it is good for you.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Babylon revisiting...
Have you ever wondered though you would love to have your old life or olden days, you somehow feel it is impossible?
I just had a feeling of that. It happens to me, when I listen to some songs, when I read books by certain writers, and when I watch some movies. At times when I speak to my old friends, like Kutti and not forgetting rainy days. And the feeling is very refreshing like rain.
Suddenly I felt there was a longing to visit the sweet old days, even briefly. Very nostalgic. Perhaps, an attempt to bring back a hidden part? Or to cherish something which is not anymore?
But, why is it so impossible? You just think of it, then the thought vanishes as swiftly as it comes. It doesn't stay longer as we desire. Or we are too busy to savor it with the issues of today's and tomorrows.
It is not escaping into the past, fearing of the present and the future. Its different. You will feel that there is the you still wanting to take life as it is, waiting to be adventurous, getting every chance to enjoy life as careless as you can.
The mystery of time...unresolved puzzle....
I just had a feeling of that. It happens to me, when I listen to some songs, when I read books by certain writers, and when I watch some movies. At times when I speak to my old friends, like Kutti and not forgetting rainy days. And the feeling is very refreshing like rain.
Suddenly I felt there was a longing to visit the sweet old days, even briefly. Very nostalgic. Perhaps, an attempt to bring back a hidden part? Or to cherish something which is not anymore?
But, why is it so impossible? You just think of it, then the thought vanishes as swiftly as it comes. It doesn't stay longer as we desire. Or we are too busy to savor it with the issues of today's and tomorrows.
It is not escaping into the past, fearing of the present and the future. Its different. You will feel that there is the you still wanting to take life as it is, waiting to be adventurous, getting every chance to enjoy life as careless as you can.
The mystery of time...unresolved puzzle....
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Watching the world go by...
Bringing the best under stress has become an old adage to me. The theory is simple - the work style changes as we change. This is happening to me shockingly frequent. Its beyond learning lessons...and I know.
The flight missed me once again, leaving me 3 full solid hours before the next flight. In this trip, I deliberately avoided taking one important thing which I always carry along with the travel documents- book. And there is no bookshop in Kuching Airport. Well, it is pretty small.
There was a sudden halt in the schedule and this unexpected free time. Starbucks coffee and muffins helped me for sometime as I was digesting the fact. It was hard, of course, but there is one thing; I mastered my Conscience, from asking haunting questions and learnt to swallow things.
I was watching people moving here and there. Sometimes, it is just interesting to see people around you. Men are many kinds! They are just who they are. Especially in places like this. They don't take any conscious effort to impress people.
Long time ago, a Father and I were waiting at the gate of a church for my sister to arrive. The wait was four hours and more. We were making fun of everything and everyone on the road. And fours passed by like four minutes.
The best place to watch people is the road. I don't know why. But it is interesting. Vehicles and people; of all sorts..walking here and there with some purpose and to some destination.....and you are there watching them. Mhum...
Unlike Chennai, the world in Kuching is too small to sit at one place. I have two more hours to go and, I am changing my location to get a different view....
Friday, February 19, 2010
Ifs and Buts of life...
Perhaps Grace was right. "You are regretful", "I never want to look back and say 'oh, what if I had done this..what if I had done that'". "It's over. You can't think of getting a second back. So, think wisely about your future". Sharp but straightforward. I was reminded of - 'life is full of ifs and buts'
Words of wisdom. Wisdom comes with age and experience. And of course, not all.
While I was picking my scooter from the shop, my mind was busy as usual, in its pace. Suddenly, there was a flash - a revelation. Am I going to go back to the eternal past? Had I gone last year, I would have avoided this, had I done this two years back, I would have gone home last year, had I done this previous year, I would have done this and that, or I could have avoided this and that. Will these ifs ever end? Or, am I going to reach down deep questioning the roots?
But then, it is difficult, very difficult: to explain, to understand and to accept. Sometimes, you don't really want to think about it but you can't help thinking about it. How I wish I could dismiss the thoughts that trouble me!
Life is a domino effect. It is different from co incidents. It can happen in any least expected way. Minor or major, every event, every action does matter in a way. And every action leads us to another action, consciously or unconsciously. Conscious. Yes, you have to be conscious all the time, I mean, ALL the time of your actions. In life, we cannot afford to have overwhelming anything for that matter. Then the consequence may be disastrous. You might loose the touch with your self, not yourself, but your "self". Once it happens, you might as well find it difficult to listen to your innate wisdom - intuition. You may hear but you may not notice and let it go, unnoticed and unattended. You ignore it. You know how hurtful it is to ignore anything? You hurt yourself and others. Either way. Anyways, it is hurtful. It will be far too late before you realize and things would have gone out of control. If so, you are letting ifs and buts to haunt you. You won't be helped, even if the universe wants to help you. It is more than coincident!
I believe, all of us can predict, foresee our future to an extent. But still, it is mysterious to achieve clarity in our actions. We know what to do but we are unable to do and willingly avoid doing certain things, unable to control the consequences for there is a fear. Fear of something. Fear for something. There is an invisible force controls us beyond the realm of understanding. Known yet unknown.
There is he, she and they who involved in this ifs and buts. And not forgetting an important personality - YOU.. Always letting yourself to allow things to happen. So, why blaming others? Don't blame the stage if you don't know how to dance. You either dance or you don't . How you dance is entirely up to you.
Now things are pretty much clear, clearer than ever before. Wisdom?! Yeah. After facing the harsh truth of life. There is nothing much matters to me. I just have to mind my way. But this time very mindfully.
For those who have contributed to this ifs and buts in my life- nature will do its duty. I have nothing to do except - FORGIVE. Forgive him, forgive her, forgive them and forgive yourself.
And, it's time to listen to Grace.
Om Shanthi..Om Shanthi...Om..
Words of wisdom. Wisdom comes with age and experience. And of course, not all.
While I was picking my scooter from the shop, my mind was busy as usual, in its pace. Suddenly, there was a flash - a revelation. Am I going to go back to the eternal past? Had I gone last year, I would have avoided this, had I done this two years back, I would have gone home last year, had I done this previous year, I would have done this and that, or I could have avoided this and that. Will these ifs ever end? Or, am I going to reach down deep questioning the roots?
But then, it is difficult, very difficult: to explain, to understand and to accept. Sometimes, you don't really want to think about it but you can't help thinking about it. How I wish I could dismiss the thoughts that trouble me!
Life is a domino effect. It is different from co incidents. It can happen in any least expected way. Minor or major, every event, every action does matter in a way. And every action leads us to another action, consciously or unconsciously. Conscious. Yes, you have to be conscious all the time, I mean, ALL the time of your actions. In life, we cannot afford to have overwhelming anything for that matter. Then the consequence may be disastrous. You might loose the touch with your self, not yourself, but your "self". Once it happens, you might as well find it difficult to listen to your innate wisdom - intuition. You may hear but you may not notice and let it go, unnoticed and unattended. You ignore it. You know how hurtful it is to ignore anything? You hurt yourself and others. Either way. Anyways, it is hurtful. It will be far too late before you realize and things would have gone out of control. If so, you are letting ifs and buts to haunt you. You won't be helped, even if the universe wants to help you. It is more than coincident!
I believe, all of us can predict, foresee our future to an extent. But still, it is mysterious to achieve clarity in our actions. We know what to do but we are unable to do and willingly avoid doing certain things, unable to control the consequences for there is a fear. Fear of something. Fear for something. There is an invisible force controls us beyond the realm of understanding. Known yet unknown.
There is he, she and they who involved in this ifs and buts. And not forgetting an important personality - YOU.. Always letting yourself to allow things to happen. So, why blaming others? Don't blame the stage if you don't know how to dance. You either dance or you don't . How you dance is entirely up to you.
Now things are pretty much clear, clearer than ever before. Wisdom?! Yeah. After facing the harsh truth of life. There is nothing much matters to me. I just have to mind my way. But this time very mindfully.
For those who have contributed to this ifs and buts in my life- nature will do its duty. I have nothing to do except - FORGIVE. Forgive him, forgive her, forgive them and forgive yourself.
And, it's time to listen to Grace.
Om Shanthi..Om Shanthi...Om..
Thursday, February 18, 2010
My Miss Sentha!!!
Teaching, perhaps, was last on my list. Serious. My dad won, as always. Well, Now, it is a different story. If you don't get what you love, love what you get. No, no philosophy this time.
Five years back, I was given Public Speaking subject to teach Computer Students (diploma). Fine, my cup of coffee. I love speaking, in any form. I inherent from my dad. But that was the first time to teach Public Speaking. Nor was I a speaker then. Now, to some extent, yes. Mind you, speaking and teaching to speak was different.
Students were expected to do three different types of speeches and the class strength was twenty five and above, if I could remember correctly.
It was one of the presentations day. Each of them was given five minutes. However they did take their own time. And there came a student. Obviously he was nervous. He started with the ritual-greeting the class. Some can go on with a list like the ones you see in Oscar awards acceptance speeches; greeting everyone and sometimes the pets too.
He started greeting the class and said, "My Miss Sentha". We guessed he wanted to say my friends or my class... I told you, he was that nervous. And the whole class burst into laughter....and so did I.
Ever since, the batch can recall that incident and call me my miss Sentha. And there was a student from Ghana, Hagan. Every time, literally, he called, my miss Sentha. He never bothered about the place nor the people around.
This kind of thing happens to me atleast once in a while. Two semesters ago, it was a presentation day for Business English, degree students. Two studetns went to the platform, one after the other, and greeted the class and me- good afternoon my friends and sentha. What?! I couldn't wait anymore and ever after whoever goes to the platform gives me warm smile and ......Ms Sentha, yeah, you got it right!
And today, I was walking back to my office from canteen after my so called lunch at 4.00. I heard My Miss Sentha. I was surprised and so does the faculty. He was loud. The Ghanian is here. Our minds travelled back to the moment in a fraction of second and brought smile on both of us.
At the end of the day what remains is - the feeling. And, teaching is not just teaching!
Five years back, I was given Public Speaking subject to teach Computer Students (diploma). Fine, my cup of coffee. I love speaking, in any form. I inherent from my dad. But that was the first time to teach Public Speaking. Nor was I a speaker then. Now, to some extent, yes. Mind you, speaking and teaching to speak was different.
Students were expected to do three different types of speeches and the class strength was twenty five and above, if I could remember correctly.
It was one of the presentations day. Each of them was given five minutes. However they did take their own time. And there came a student. Obviously he was nervous. He started with the ritual-greeting the class. Some can go on with a list like the ones you see in Oscar awards acceptance speeches; greeting everyone and sometimes the pets too.
He started greeting the class and said, "My Miss Sentha". We guessed he wanted to say my friends or my class... I told you, he was that nervous. And the whole class burst into laughter....and so did I.
Ever since, the batch can recall that incident and call me my miss Sentha. And there was a student from Ghana, Hagan. Every time, literally, he called, my miss Sentha. He never bothered about the place nor the people around.
This kind of thing happens to me atleast once in a while. Two semesters ago, it was a presentation day for Business English, degree students. Two studetns went to the platform, one after the other, and greeted the class and me- good afternoon my friends and sentha. What?! I couldn't wait anymore and ever after whoever goes to the platform gives me warm smile and ......Ms Sentha, yeah, you got it right!
And today, I was walking back to my office from canteen after my so called lunch at 4.00. I heard My Miss Sentha. I was surprised and so does the faculty. He was loud. The Ghanian is here. Our minds travelled back to the moment in a fraction of second and brought smile on both of us.
Monday, February 15, 2010
A reminder ...
This is not the first time. It's has been repeating. Not history. It's my bike.
Today, I thought of calling a taxi to visit some one. I wanted to buy a nice gift so, plan differently, got on to my scooty. On the way from Hui sing to choice, I saw police bikes and cars with a siren. The police on the patrol, waved his left hand in a more dramatic way, like Kings and Gods do. I was wondering where could they have possibly learnt to wave like that. And the bike was approaching. Guess what, my helmet was hanging in the handle. Goodness, I escaped.
I guess, it could possibly be some Minister visiting another VIP. Back home, the routes would be blocked, traffic would be hectic, and it would take at least 1 hour to clear. Not easy.
Almost reaching Kamdar, my scooty got stuck and came to a complete stop. I didn't take much to time to think of my next move, but left my scooty at Kamdar, walked up to Choice, the only shop opened, bought a nice chocolate basket, got into a taxi and vanished.
I was dropped back home. After a half an hour rest, I started to rescue my vehicle. I walked up to Kamdar via choice. It refused to cooperate. I was pushing for some time while wondering if I could call Mo for help. But, being valentine's day, I assumed he would be celebrating.
I was pushing all the while to the petrol station, filled up the tank and refilled oil. I thought it was running out of fuel. Nothing helped me. Almost reaching home, I chanced upon by a student. He tried for his part, after seeing the stubbornness of the scooty, he asked if he could help me in getting the bike home. I gently refused. Well, I appreciated his help. Unlike some so called friends who could not be bothered at all. A friend of mine was about to visit me sometime in the past, and I told him that I got stuck up with my bike. I was on the middle of the road, not knowing what to do. Well, he called after almost 1 hour to find out. Of course, he couldn't care less. Cold. Well, our actions are reflections of our behaviour and the amount of care we show to one another. A sign of human behaviour.
On the way, I stopped in a place, and starting munching pea nuts leaning on a post. It was on the road. Passers by were had a curious look. There was a man who gave a me weird look. He would have probably thought what is this weird woman doing? Perception. I am sure none of us is weird
So, I ended up walking a lot more yesterday and the only problem is my right hand and shoulder. Cannot lift. Its swollen.
Every time it happens, I remind myself of few things: 1) using a taxi - incredibly not possible all the time. 2) getting help from friend - its totally against my principle. 3) change my commuter - to car. Sounds so good, but I enjoy more when I am sitting next to the driver seat. What to do?
Perhaps I should get a car with an expensive driver;) ! did you get what I mean?
Today, I thought of calling a taxi to visit some one. I wanted to buy a nice gift so, plan differently, got on to my scooty. On the way from Hui sing to choice, I saw police bikes and cars with a siren. The police on the patrol, waved his left hand in a more dramatic way, like Kings and Gods do. I was wondering where could they have possibly learnt to wave like that. And the bike was approaching. Guess what, my helmet was hanging in the handle. Goodness, I escaped.
I guess, it could possibly be some Minister visiting another VIP. Back home, the routes would be blocked, traffic would be hectic, and it would take at least 1 hour to clear. Not easy.
Almost reaching Kamdar, my scooty got stuck and came to a complete stop. I didn't take much to time to think of my next move, but left my scooty at Kamdar, walked up to Choice, the only shop opened, bought a nice chocolate basket, got into a taxi and vanished.
I was dropped back home. After a half an hour rest, I started to rescue my vehicle. I walked up to Kamdar via choice. It refused to cooperate. I was pushing for some time while wondering if I could call Mo for help. But, being valentine's day, I assumed he would be celebrating.
I was pushing all the while to the petrol station, filled up the tank and refilled oil. I thought it was running out of fuel. Nothing helped me. Almost reaching home, I chanced upon by a student. He tried for his part, after seeing the stubbornness of the scooty, he asked if he could help me in getting the bike home. I gently refused. Well, I appreciated his help. Unlike some so called friends who could not be bothered at all. A friend of mine was about to visit me sometime in the past, and I told him that I got stuck up with my bike. I was on the middle of the road, not knowing what to do. Well, he called after almost 1 hour to find out. Of course, he couldn't care less. Cold. Well, our actions are reflections of our behaviour and the amount of care we show to one another. A sign of human behaviour.
On the way, I stopped in a place, and starting munching pea nuts leaning on a post. It was on the road. Passers by were had a curious look. There was a man who gave a me weird look. He would have probably thought what is this weird woman doing? Perception. I am sure none of us is weird
So, I ended up walking a lot more yesterday and the only problem is my right hand and shoulder. Cannot lift. Its swollen.
Every time it happens, I remind myself of few things: 1) using a taxi - incredibly not possible all the time. 2) getting help from friend - its totally against my principle. 3) change my commuter - to car. Sounds so good, but I enjoy more when I am sitting next to the driver seat. What to do?
Perhaps I should get a car with an expensive driver;) ! did you get what I mean?
Friday, February 12, 2010
Bits of today...
You are too honest
This morning, I didn't expect that I would catch up with a colleague for a cup of coffee and get updated news. I was wondering few things and he said that I am too honest and can never expect integrity in people,at least in workplace. But I wonder - why not? But I know - am paying too much. I can't be helped.
Astro - customer service
Due to my long absence from Kuching, Astro bill was unpaid and the service was disconnected for two to three days, and I couldn't be bothered about neither the payment nor watching TV.
Suddenly I felt I missed BBC and I made the payment yesterday afternoon expecting the line to be connected. After waited for one day, I called Astro when I came home for lunch. The lady confirmed few things and assured me that the line would be reconnected within 3 hours from the time I called her. I put the receiver down and turned towards my laptop to do something and I heard the TV speaking. I was really surprised. That was quick, very quick, less than 3 minutes.
My Scooty
It was almost 8 months since my scooty needed a service after my ex colleague fell down into one of the widest drainage in Stampin with my scooty, I had been thinking, thinking, and thinking of getting it repaired. Last weekend, my friend found out that the back tyre went flat. I couldn't get it to the shop to get replaced. (couldn't be bothered again?) And, this afternoon, I was almost left with no choice but to force myself to leave my scooty with the mechanic. I was told to get it back around 3 or 5, was advised not to be late because the shop would be closed early today.(CNY preparation!)
I left my office at 5 and while walking to the shop I remembered I forgot to get something from the office. To go back or to proceed to the shop - a second of dilemma. I went back to office. While walking out to the shop, Margaret said that she would drop me and we found out the shop was closed. Then she dropped me home.
I planned to shop briefly tonight. Now, at home.
Blog
I always like to read Mitch's blog. She has a unique style-conversational. Yet to comment. She has been my inspiration for starting blog and designing too. I spent one full hour this evening to give a new look. To some extent- I did.
Just managed to read Amitabh Bachachn's blog. Interesting. Its not about him and his life. A blog is more than words, more than entries, more than language. If you can't get it, don't worry.
Nap
Nap in the evening or in the afternoon is refreshing - perhaps for you. I napped for 1 hour. I thought of walking up to Wanjia to buy and to walk. I felt very tired when I woke up - the house was quite except the tickling of the clock.
Very long time back I read it in a Tamil novel that to day is another day. In a way - yes. The same routine, same people, same encounters, same reactions, same everything - but different too. Paradox of life?
I still have few more hours for the day. I just want to catch up with Star Movies, BBC, chat with my friend and walking. I don't know. I am hungry - very. And tired. Too tired - to cook, to walk, to watch, and .....could be my high heals? or could it be the exhaustion of my mind? I don't know- don't want to know either.
And, here comes tomorrow - will it be an another day?
This morning, I didn't expect that I would catch up with a colleague for a cup of coffee and get updated news. I was wondering few things and he said that I am too honest and can never expect integrity in people,at least in workplace. But I wonder - why not? But I know - am paying too much. I can't be helped.
Astro - customer service
Due to my long absence from Kuching, Astro bill was unpaid and the service was disconnected for two to three days, and I couldn't be bothered about neither the payment nor watching TV.
Suddenly I felt I missed BBC and I made the payment yesterday afternoon expecting the line to be connected. After waited for one day, I called Astro when I came home for lunch. The lady confirmed few things and assured me that the line would be reconnected within 3 hours from the time I called her. I put the receiver down and turned towards my laptop to do something and I heard the TV speaking. I was really surprised. That was quick, very quick, less than 3 minutes.
My Scooty
It was almost 8 months since my scooty needed a service after my ex colleague fell down into one of the widest drainage in Stampin with my scooty, I had been thinking, thinking, and thinking of getting it repaired. Last weekend, my friend found out that the back tyre went flat. I couldn't get it to the shop to get replaced. (couldn't be bothered again?) And, this afternoon, I was almost left with no choice but to force myself to leave my scooty with the mechanic. I was told to get it back around 3 or 5, was advised not to be late because the shop would be closed early today.(CNY preparation!)
I left my office at 5 and while walking to the shop I remembered I forgot to get something from the office. To go back or to proceed to the shop - a second of dilemma. I went back to office. While walking out to the shop, Margaret said that she would drop me and we found out the shop was closed. Then she dropped me home.
I planned to shop briefly tonight. Now, at home.
Blog
I always like to read Mitch's blog. She has a unique style-conversational. Yet to comment. She has been my inspiration for starting blog and designing too. I spent one full hour this evening to give a new look. To some extent- I did.
Just managed to read Amitabh Bachachn's blog. Interesting. Its not about him and his life. A blog is more than words, more than entries, more than language. If you can't get it, don't worry.
Nap
Nap in the evening or in the afternoon is refreshing - perhaps for you. I napped for 1 hour. I thought of walking up to Wanjia to buy and to walk. I felt very tired when I woke up - the house was quite except the tickling of the clock.
Very long time back I read it in a Tamil novel that to day is another day. In a way - yes. The same routine, same people, same encounters, same reactions, same everything - but different too. Paradox of life?
I still have few more hours for the day. I just want to catch up with Star Movies, BBC, chat with my friend and walking. I don't know. I am hungry - very. And tired. Too tired - to cook, to walk, to watch, and .....could be my high heals? or could it be the exhaustion of my mind? I don't know- don't want to know either.
And, here comes tomorrow - will it be an another day?
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