Change .....

And again, I am set for another change.  Why would anyone want to change often? or as often as one cannot take? Well, no adventure or any sort of thing but something. And that something will always be there everywhere. But again, that something differs from place to place. Some changes occur with intense desire whereas some happen without our knowledge.

This time, I am in control of the change. Except for the bit of anxitey. I liked the feeling. It was good, more professional. The conversation that was exchanged was also very professional. There was a shock but with understanding. And so the conversation was good.  I am anxious about the future. Everytime you change there are fundamental things that change along with. The unfortunate thing is you cannot be in two places which I very much want to experience.  

Well, for changes to happen there is soemting inevitable should happen. Decision. I believe any decision that you take will influence your future.  You cannot control your desicion nor you can control the impact it may bring. Though it may seem that you are the one you decide, your decision is not yours. The decision that you take is the outcome of your past. Your good and bad experiences and its lessons, pains etc etc. And every decision you make is your choice. But there is no free choice. Its controlled.

There is something awaiting. Something again. I am clear, calm, and tranquility prevails me.

Hope this change is for good.

It's been a long time...!

It's a mixed feeling today.  It's one of the rare moments that I get. A mixed feeling of my existence. Existence of the past and future. And present?  Past and future will recur in the mind when the present is not promising.

The gloomy weather brings gloomy thoughts. The breeze is chill and I smell rain. It should be raining somewhere. My colleague exclaimed,"What a weather in the month of March!" I couldn't exclaim, nor could I think about any thing. I refused to think or to do anything. All I  wanted was to take a walk, long walk. The one such walk I used to take in the past, distance past. I didn't walk for the past two years. Well, I am still alive.  But, there is difference in the way I live. A life with walking and a life without walking. Unfortunately, I am confined with duties and responsibilities. I took a short break from my routine. Its good to listen to your heart once in a while.

The mixed feeling is about the way in which I exit. If existence is mere eating, sleeping and living, then I exist. But usually this is not the case. I exist, but I ceased to exist the way I wanted to exist.  Its the weather takes me back and froth. Eventually I found myself in talking to you. A nice escape from reality. A delve into the past. Visited my old places. See there is the smile! You may be wondering at my bluffing. But wait, it is not bluffing. 

The mixed feeling is about the present and future. A sudden lightening thought engulfed me ever since I started to smell the fresh rain. I never knew there would be a problem in breathing fresh air. May be we are not used to it for sometime! It's been a long time!  I am too lazy to think.

 Its still gloomy outside and I love to walk again.