Not long ago, after one of my walks, I was wondering, as I always do, if there could be any book on walking.
Call it a coincidence or more than a coincidence or name it by any, the next day I read a review of a novel on Newsweek.com. The novel is "The Unnamed" by Joshua Ferris.
After waiting for one whole month, I bought it in MPH, Kuching. Just done with the book. Tim, the protagonist, a lawyer, who has a partnership in a law firm, takes walks at the middle of his work, unpredictably, completely uncontrolled by himself, but by the "other". The novel is about him and the other. And the constant war between the two. The war is about mind over the body or otherwise.
Though it reminds me of "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy, it differs in a great amount. One commonality is the walk. The protoganist in The Road walks too, or to be specific, takes to the road, consciously. On a mission. It is a conscious act. Whereas, in "The Unnamed", it was an uncontrolled act. Or should I say it is an unconscious act?
He tries his every bit to control the other. Takes medication, gets himself experimented with new technology, gets him tied up with the bed. There are recessions in the walks. And few remissions. His returns to normality of life is only a for short time. All of a sudden, the disappearance followed with his backpack and his boots. Totally random! Eventually Jane and their daughter Becca are used with the sudden disappearance.
He is diagnosed with brain fog, and few unnamed disorders. He loses his fingers, his toes, develops all sorts sickness. His wife, Jane, was patient and loving enough to take him, and the other, as devoted, as patient as she could possibly be, takes all the stress. Whenever he finds himself lost in finding the direction, whenever he lost his mind and energy to walk back home, she goes pick him up, from wherever he is. .
In the beginning, he dislikes the walks. He is afraid of the walks. It is an act thrust upon him. By the other. After a while it goes out of control, it seems, as if he is used with the walk. Almost towards the end, he was lost with but desperation. In a way, he allowed himself to be controlled. Here comes the art of allowing. How good it is to allow oneself to be controlled by the any situation or circumstance? And for how long? (will be another blog soon on this)
Joshua takes us across America. Tim walks, walks, all over America, as if searching for something. Perhaps, yes. Searching for the real he. Is he (it) soul, mind, brain, or body? or all?
Can soul, brain, mind, body be one? Or many? If the other (soul) is the embodiment of the mind, and mind is the abstract reflection of the brain, and brain is the particles, neurons and cells (body), then, it is one.(Monism). If soul and body (brain, mind) are misaligned, then they are many. (Dualism) The eternal quest of Tim. The manifestation of one over the other.
The setting of the novel is very American Corporate Culture. The language use is also contemporary corporate executives style. Interesting. No complex compound sentences. Mostly simple sentences with complex thoughts!
Ever since, Tim starts his first walk, I visualized an image, a tall, bit skinny, bit hunch, with glasses, but a strong figure. My visualization of the character could be the effect of Denzel Washington in The Book of Eli. But Denzel has a broad frame.
Almost towards the end; I was thinking, this could be produced into a movie. Who knows! And Denzel Washington will be the best choice for Tim. Not because I like him. But he will fit in a simple but complex character like this. In Tamil; perhaps, Kamal Hasan. Perfect to feed his hunger for challenging roles. The movie should have the combination of narration and conversations(is there any technical name for this?), as in Elegy, The Reader, and some other movies. (How I wish I could produce the movie!)
In future, there will be hundreds and hundreds of thesis on this novel; The symbols (the Preacher - Tim's Conscience, his walks - family irresponsibility of American men/ younger generation) The character analysis and so on.
Perhaps the best book among my recent reads. Mind blowing and a heavy read. The thought pattern of the writer is amazing. Dr Noel told me that I should consider translating this in Tamil. Perhaps, I should.
Mind you, if you are not so much into philosophy or psychology, you might not find it interesting.
Some interesting lines from the book:
"Allow myself to hope again, when it's really only another opportunity to be disappointed?"
"but the cops didn't care for honest answers"
"vanity was a luxury of those exempt from the compromises of a long illness"
"her life was stripped down to the simplicity of self survival"
"risk it all for the sake of risk itself"
"he was trapped again in the next step, next step and next step"
"Intelligence has its limits. Knowledge cannot determine in its entirety the measure of man' soul"
" The world is too old. The soul is the mind is the brain is the body. I am you and you are it and it will always win" (the highlight)
" to be lost in writing was to be absorbed and to be absorbed was to lose awareness of everything"
(well, it is impossible to write the whole book)
"I have learnt that I am me, that I can do the things that, as one might put it, me can do, but I cannot do the things that me would like to do." Agatha Christie (1890-1976)
The above quote was on my blog this morning, and I found that this has some connection to the core of the novel; the self and the other. Or perhaps I interpreted?
Friday, April 30, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
In control..
It is a recurrence. In this year. It shouldn't happen. Or, I shouldn't let it happen. Be in control. I am not the only person on earth to face such difficulty. There are many more.Like me, they just keep it with themselves. Or not. But I keep it. I just found out there is another soul facing the same as mine. We both had a good laugh.
I felt bad, I felt embarrased. I was about to feel sorry or I wanted to feel sorry, for myself. Sympathy, self sympathy. Something I dislike. But I didn't. I was in control. After reaching home from our renunion supper last night, I was walking up and down thinking of it. Quite late night walk, but I walked inside the compound to avoid risk at that heavenly hour. And it was drizzling.
I found, my mind was quiet and thinking of what next, and not of whats or whys. Not bad, I told myself. Its a good change. I thought of three persons; my dad, my uncle and the other; there is a commonality in three of them. They are aquarians. It is another theory if all acqurians behave that way. I don't think so. I reacted the same way they would have reacted. Facing the destiny with out any feeling. As an observer. Not as a subject, but an object. In control, complete control. You will be surprised. The will power, the strength. Amazing. I could concentrate on my book.
I truly wish this be the last time. Make things fall into place than letting things fall into its own place.
Taking control.
I felt bad, I felt embarrased. I was about to feel sorry or I wanted to feel sorry, for myself. Sympathy, self sympathy. Something I dislike. But I didn't. I was in control. After reaching home from our renunion supper last night, I was walking up and down thinking of it. Quite late night walk, but I walked inside the compound to avoid risk at that heavenly hour. And it was drizzling.
I found, my mind was quiet and thinking of what next, and not of whats or whys. Not bad, I told myself. Its a good change. I thought of three persons; my dad, my uncle and the other; there is a commonality in three of them. They are aquarians. It is another theory if all acqurians behave that way. I don't think so. I reacted the same way they would have reacted. Facing the destiny with out any feeling. As an observer. Not as a subject, but an object. In control, complete control. You will be surprised. The will power, the strength. Amazing. I could concentrate on my book.
I truly wish this be the last time. Make things fall into place than letting things fall into its own place.
Taking control.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Up in the air...
I know, this will come to an end. I was, truly, excited by the idea though I was skeptical about the whole thing.
I was almost floating in the air. Anything that floats in the air has to fall on the floor one day. Perhaps, the floating time is sometimes too long or unimaginably too short. The premise here is - all the floating things will fall down one day. She is floating. And She will fall on the ground one day. (Deductive argument). The fall was expected. Hence, the injury was light.
But, it is against the will. Not floating. But falling. Can we stop the falling? Oh, how I wish I could! Our mind is so selective. Selective in the causes and the effects. It can generate hundred and thousands of causes but it is unwilling to accept the effects, even one. So childish! Yes, I said childish, because only a child will refuse to accept even the truth of the matter is crystal clear.
Well, we can conveniently say that unwilling to accept is human nature. But not necessarily. If the mind is selective, then, let it select the best possible ones which benefits both ends. By deliberate will, as Shan emphasis. My intuition hinted me that this too will pass, like any other. And, it did!
The floating was short. But it was wonderful. A pleasant distraction with a lasting impression.
And, At least I know I can float and there is a source to make me float!
Falling? It doesn't matter, I can float again. :)
Its time for my walk, now.....
I was almost floating in the air. Anything that floats in the air has to fall on the floor one day. Perhaps, the floating time is sometimes too long or unimaginably too short. The premise here is - all the floating things will fall down one day. She is floating. And She will fall on the ground one day. (Deductive argument). The fall was expected. Hence, the injury was light.
But, it is against the will. Not floating. But falling. Can we stop the falling? Oh, how I wish I could! Our mind is so selective. Selective in the causes and the effects. It can generate hundred and thousands of causes but it is unwilling to accept the effects, even one. So childish! Yes, I said childish, because only a child will refuse to accept even the truth of the matter is crystal clear.
Well, we can conveniently say that unwilling to accept is human nature. But not necessarily. If the mind is selective, then, let it select the best possible ones which benefits both ends. By deliberate will, as Shan emphasis. My intuition hinted me that this too will pass, like any other. And, it did!
The floating was short. But it was wonderful. A pleasant distraction with a lasting impression.
And, At least I know I can float and there is a source to make me float!
Falling? It doesn't matter, I can float again. :)
Its time for my walk, now.....
Saturday, April 10, 2010
I am broke...but how could I?
I am broke. Mo laughed when I told him. He asked how I could be? He laughed exactly the same way I laughed at him when he said the same two days back. I can never be broke. He believes. According to him, I will definitely have money at the ATM but may not be in my wallet. My dear Mo, even my ATM is sort of empty.
But why not?
We all are broke at some point in time. There were many times I was broke in the past. But this is different. Actually Mo has a point.
There are some good souls who owe me. But they conveniently forget. How could anyone conveniently forget the things when they owe someone? I really wonder. Unless they don't care. You know what was the answer when I reminded, "Oh I have but I thought, I can use it for some more time" I try not to use Zay's favourite phrase; capital _ _. It sounds good when he says it!
Frankly speaking this time, I feel lighter, though I missed all sorts of nuts in my oats and at least three types of juices, though I miss the exotic rich side. There is no bugging questions in my mind. Perhaps I allowed myself to pass through this. I am more of myself. I read a lot. I smile a lot. I walk a lot. I am happier. And I am not pretending to be rich, or not broke. As Osho said, no phony image. A friend of mine called me yesterday Ohsini..I like the name!
Now I know how it feels when some students tell me, "Ms Sentha, I am broke" I should empathise with them, and I will.
Chris will be shocked to read this. "Why di Senthu, you write all these things on FB?" Chris, I can imagine your face. Chris was the first person whom I said about this few days back. She was concerned, I think. Mo was the second person, He laughed. And another friend was the third person, he asked a simple 'y'. Same message, different reactions.
I am back to basics, actually there is a great lesson behind this. Accepting. I accepted it without any complains. And I didn't let my ego dominate me. When ego sleeps, one feels humble. And it is great to be simple. May be that's why I look happier, Chris?
Mostly, I end up situation like this when I lend money. So here are some golden rules that you may consider before lending to anyone.
But why not?
We all are broke at some point in time. There were many times I was broke in the past. But this is different. Actually Mo has a point.
There are some good souls who owe me. But they conveniently forget. How could anyone conveniently forget the things when they owe someone? I really wonder. Unless they don't care. You know what was the answer when I reminded, "Oh I have but I thought, I can use it for some more time" I try not to use Zay's favourite phrase; capital _ _. It sounds good when he says it!
Frankly speaking this time, I feel lighter, though I missed all sorts of nuts in my oats and at least three types of juices, though I miss the exotic rich side. There is no bugging questions in my mind. Perhaps I allowed myself to pass through this. I am more of myself. I read a lot. I smile a lot. I walk a lot. I am happier. And I am not pretending to be rich, or not broke. As Osho said, no phony image. A friend of mine called me yesterday Ohsini..I like the name!
Now I know how it feels when some students tell me, "Ms Sentha, I am broke" I should empathise with them, and I will.
Chris will be shocked to read this. "Why di Senthu, you write all these things on FB?" Chris, I can imagine your face. Chris was the first person whom I said about this few days back. She was concerned, I think. Mo was the second person, He laughed. And another friend was the third person, he asked a simple 'y'. Same message, different reactions.
I am back to basics, actually there is a great lesson behind this. Accepting. I accepted it without any complains. And I didn't let my ego dominate me. When ego sleeps, one feels humble. And it is great to be simple. May be that's why I look happier, Chris?
Mostly, I end up situation like this when I lend money. So here are some golden rules that you may consider before lending to anyone.
- Just check if the person is really in need of money when he or she asks you. If he can survive for one or two days without borrowing, let him. I am not telling you to be mean.
- Know the person before you lend. The philosophical idea of "giving unconditionally" doesn't work here. Philosophy won't help you when you are hungry. Worse case, you may come up with your philosophy, that's all.
- Don't, DON'T, lend money to the same kind of people, if you know their repaying habits, please. I made this mistake few times. We have a great saying in Tamil, "Pathiram arinthu pichaiiddu". You need to know the vessel or the bowl before you put food in it. (sorry for the literal translation.)Not everyone is genuine or in desperate need of help.
- Let them learn a lesson about borrowing money. The one thing we can never tarnish our image is in the repaying habits. Of course, you can't stop anyone from borrowing. If then, City bank, HSBC, Standard Chattered and the World Bank may not exist.
- Mo, definitely has a point. I recalled what my ex colleague from Bangladesh told me. If the job doesn't give you the financial security that you are supposed to get, do something about it. He is back in Bangladesh.
- I am broke. But not mentally, so no worries.
- I am treating myself with a movie tonight, to compensate.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Dilemmas and Decisions ...
Its all started with Kutti. This morning, I was chatting with her for a while. In the middle of the conversation, she reminded me of my Ph.D. And doing a Ph.D is a pending item in my "to do" list.
And I never thought choosing the field of study would be this difficult or confusing. I mean, to me. I have my reasons.
The choice is between International Politics and Literature. In life, you can't afford to make a wrong choice even by chance. It may be close to your heart. But it may fail you in other areas. Choosing a Ph.D is a life turning point, I believe. And both have pros and cons which will have strong influence in my future. I didn't have much problem when I took my UG. I wanted to do Law but my dad told me to go for Literature.Also some of my teachers. They knew my interest in English. So I did. Then there had been a smooth transition to next levels. And now hiccups.. I have been contemplating on this for some time. Actually for a long time.
Strangely, last night I mailed my friend in India to give me an advice, I am sure, he is going to go for Literature. This morning I checked with Kutti and she is all for literature. She is expecting me to be writer. Of course, yes, I will be.Chris is also for Literature. I think, both Kutti and Chirs are concerned about two things;1) literature is the known area unlike the other, and 2) career development and job security in future. Francis is for linguistics.
And later this afternoon, strangely again, I mailed some of my debaters. The first person to reply was AQ. The person behind the idea of this International Politics is him. Followed by Mitch, Tochi and Pan..all for International Politics. Meanwhile, Mo dropped into my office, he is also for the same. He once said that I have an iconic image and I should try Politics. Doesn't it sound good?
Ph.D in literature is not essential in order to be a writer. Same goes with Politics. Wait, will I become one? Don't know. I wanted once. I expressed my interest in politics to my dad few times. He just smiled with a head nod. He was the one who put the seed in my mind. He was a king maker. Surrounded by politics; in some way or other.
I was wondering many times when I was so much pulled into debates. I knew and I realised that I was moving away from my mainstream; literature to world affairs. Everything around me was politics or world affairs. Except for a good amount of reading. Mind you, reading is never enough to do a Ph.D in literature!
My future with Ph.D in literature is somewhat predictable. Lecturer, Professor, and perhaps retire as a VC? Cool. But the other one is totally unpredictable and could be challenging. Of course, challenges makes the life more interesting.
There is a problem in choosing when you like them equally. Its like loving two of your siblings, two of your children, or even two of your friends. (I didn't say girl friends or otherwise;)) But if you are person of favoritism, sorry..this is not for you..
The brighter side is the possibility of going for both...but one after another. And which one first? Perhaps something close to the heart?
And I never thought choosing the field of study would be this difficult or confusing. I mean, to me. I have my reasons.
The choice is between International Politics and Literature. In life, you can't afford to make a wrong choice even by chance. It may be close to your heart. But it may fail you in other areas. Choosing a Ph.D is a life turning point, I believe. And both have pros and cons which will have strong influence in my future. I didn't have much problem when I took my UG. I wanted to do Law but my dad told me to go for Literature.Also some of my teachers. They knew my interest in English. So I did. Then there had been a smooth transition to next levels. And now hiccups.. I have been contemplating on this for some time. Actually for a long time.
Strangely, last night I mailed my friend in India to give me an advice, I am sure, he is going to go for Literature. This morning I checked with Kutti and she is all for literature. She is expecting me to be writer. Of course, yes, I will be.Chris is also for Literature. I think, both Kutti and Chirs are concerned about two things;1) literature is the known area unlike the other, and 2) career development and job security in future. Francis is for linguistics.
And later this afternoon, strangely again, I mailed some of my debaters. The first person to reply was AQ. The person behind the idea of this International Politics is him. Followed by Mitch, Tochi and Pan..all for International Politics. Meanwhile, Mo dropped into my office, he is also for the same. He once said that I have an iconic image and I should try Politics. Doesn't it sound good?
Ph.D in literature is not essential in order to be a writer. Same goes with Politics. Wait, will I become one? Don't know. I wanted once. I expressed my interest in politics to my dad few times. He just smiled with a head nod. He was the one who put the seed in my mind. He was a king maker. Surrounded by politics; in some way or other.
I was wondering many times when I was so much pulled into debates. I knew and I realised that I was moving away from my mainstream; literature to world affairs. Everything around me was politics or world affairs. Except for a good amount of reading. Mind you, reading is never enough to do a Ph.D in literature!
My future with Ph.D in literature is somewhat predictable. Lecturer, Professor, and perhaps retire as a VC? Cool. But the other one is totally unpredictable and could be challenging. Of course, challenges makes the life more interesting.
There is a problem in choosing when you like them equally. Its like loving two of your siblings, two of your children, or even two of your friends. (I didn't say girl friends or otherwise;)) But if you are person of favoritism, sorry..this is not for you..
The brighter side is the possibility of going for both...but one after another. And which one first? Perhaps something close to the heart?
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