In control..

It is a recurrence. In this year.  It shouldn't happen. Or, I shouldn't let it happen. Be in control. I am not the only person on earth to face such difficulty.  There are many more.Like me, they just keep it with themselves. Or not. But I keep it.  I just found out there is another soul facing the same as mine. We both had a good laugh.

I felt bad, I felt embarrased. I was about to feel sorry or I wanted to feel sorry, for myself. Sympathy, self sympathy. Something I dislike. But I didn't. I was in control. After reaching home from our renunion supper last night, I was walking up and down thinking of it. Quite late night walk, but I walked inside the compound to avoid risk at that heavenly hour. And it was drizzling.

I found, my mind was quiet and thinking of what next, and not of whats or whys. Not bad, I told myself. Its a good change. I thought of three persons; my dad, my uncle and the other; there is a commonality in three of them. They are aquarians. It is another theory if all acqurians behave that way. I don't think so. I reacted the same way they would have reacted.  Facing the destiny with out any feeling.  As an observer. Not as a subject, but an object. In control, complete control. You will be surprised. The will power, the strength. Amazing. I could concentrate on my book.

I truly wish this be the last time. Make things fall into place than letting things fall into its own place.

Taking control.