Without knowing where to go....

Last night, I jumped into my friend's car and asked if we could go for a drive. When I was asked where to go, I replied I had no idea,and I said anywhere would be fine.

Actually, there was no specific place in my mind but I wanted to go for a long drive which I like very much, which I miss in Kuching like many other things.

He laughed. We went around Kuching without any plan, road after road.(don't forget the size of Kuching!) and he didn't bother the traffic lights once or twice. "Its OK to break the laws". Are you sure? Then we picked pop corn and tried to stop at Starbucks but it was closed, we were late.

Back in my University days, we, friends used to get into any bus that we came across, and reached the final station, or sometimes got down where ever we thought, and had a cup of coffee with some light snacks and came back to the University. Such a carefree and wonderful moments! *sigh*

What would be the consequence if we were to apply the same law in our life? A sort of randomness? I Should try once.

No vacuum...

Nothing much these days. A sort of change in me, of course, for better. I am not sad and I am positive about many things.

There is no vacuum in the world. It's always filled with matter, some matter, its a different matter if the matter is good or not, but there is matter.

There is someone possibly could become my friend, a good friend. How much life is different and more lively with a good friend. Let's see.

There is a slight difference in the way I see friends and friendship. Friends are not for gossip.(three days back i read an article in which the author almost had no friend the moment she wanted to stop gossiping!) That's the reason I seem to be alone almost always. I don't share my problems to add his or her own(none of my friends know any of my problem- don't ask me if I have problems, who doesn't have?) but to give a me a feeling of solace and comfort, strength and energy, at the very thought. Of course, people do matter in one's life, I mean, good people.

You should wish me good luck this time. Amen.

The Ramen Girl

Though afternoon nap is believed to be refreshing, in my case, it is unwelcoming, mostly. It's not what you think. I don't get scary premonitions. But it is the blankness of the mind. Zombi sort of thing.

The only reason is, my blankness will bring haunting questions in my mind. Questions, questions and questions. Almost about everything. My past, present and future. And it leaves me with no concrete answer, as usual.

Today, after lunch, I watched a movie " The Ramen Girl" on the star. It's about an American girl who is abandoned by her boyfriend in the city of Tokyo, totally with little hope. Finally she finds her own way to be a part of the Japanese culture. The interesting thing in the movie is, she wants to learn to cook the Ramen noodles which is believed to be a blessing and she becomes a successor for a Japanese Restaurant owner.

Somehow, I found there was a part of me in her-identification of Self. The self which lost its vision, and the search, which, eventually gave way for circumstances to win. She was a PH.D student, ended up with cooking noodles. I remember when my father scolded me when I gave him an idea of opening a restaurant. For him, Prestige matters. I understand him totally.

After I woke up from my nap, I felt the emptiness. I planned to do few things this evening. I don't know if I could. This usually happens after a nap in the afternoon. Sometimes, you want to get out of your somberness, sometimes you force yourself, and at times you let it go and linger.

This evening, the air was filled with an echo from the movie, "along the way of my life, I forgot what I wanted". I wonder, if I could remember everything or, at least, a few?

Public Display of Affection or Attention?

I had a cultural shock when I came to Malaysia, which is six years before. One of the many is PDA. It is a taboo in my place, at least few years before, even holding hands, leaning on other's shoulder. In April 2007, when Richard Gere kissed Shilpa Shetty in public, the leftist took the matter to court and both of them ended up with a public apology.

I was shocked and wondered at the things that I encountered here.

There was a time I saw a couple totally into oblivion forgetting the surrounding, and the people around them. They came to a sudden realization of the existing world after they accidentally saw me. Guess, they were my students and it happened in the corridor of the college.

These days, whenever I happen to encounter something like this, either I pretend that I didn't see them or I just ignore them with a head nod, rarely with a smile.

Last week, we went to INTI UC for debate competition and after the event we all went to KL City planning to watch a movie. As usual, our plan failed so we ended up in Times Square, my favourite place in KL simply because of the Borders.( i bought only one book this time. :( )

We took LRT to return to Nilai, and the train was not crowded and Pius and I managed to get seats after few minutes. There was a couple in front of us. The girl was leaning on the boy(man?) and I heard her telling him that she was cold and sat closer to him. He was trying to pat her shoulder (watch..i am using a decent word-pat). Don't ask me why I saw this. It was happening in front of us, it was very noticeable for anyone since there were only few of us left in the train. Mind you, public transports have a limited space. After a while, the girl was rubbing her nose against his shoulder, etc....

I was naughty. I told Pius to take a photo of them. He is so good in taking photo without anybody knowing. He turned and asked me if taking photo of them was right. We switched roles of journalists. Journalists have the freedom of clicking anything anywhere. He asked me, " Miss Sentha, is this not invading their privacy?" I paused for a while. I looked at him questioningly but I wanted a photo of them for my blog.

He replied himself. When they exhibit their private matters in public, is it any more private? No. Exactly. You have a point and my vote is for you, Pius.

An intimate couple in real life does not have the need to exhibit their intimacy in public.

Because they have nothing to prove to the world. In contrast, Exhibitionism occurs when the couple wants to seek public attention and the approval of the society and in some cases immaturity.

And, I have a question -

Is there not a difference between private and public and is there anything much left for private? I wonder.....

My speech at Charity Night...

Three to four days back, Spiff, the president of INTIMA asked me if I could give a short? speech on charity. I agreed. Last evening, while getting ready to attend the function, I planned my speech in my mind. Since it was expected to be a short one, I didn't want to carry the speech with me. I am more comfortable in spontaneous speeches than relying on manuscripts.

I knew I would change my speech while speaking, as I always do. That's what happened exactly. This time, the change was not only in my speech, but also in my tone, the reception, and the aura.

I think I finished my speech in less than two minutes. I missed out one or two points that I have mentioned here and added one or two on the spot and I spoke fast.

Once I finished, I felt I could have delivered in a more relaxed manner. It's done!

My observations on speech:

• Though it is a short speech, it is OK to carry the written speech with you, just in case.
• Eat and rest well before every speech however short the speech is and whatever is the occasion. Think this is the only chance to showcase your skill.
• Be ready for any kind of stage setup. I had difficulty for the first few seconds because of the focus light.
• The audience was invisible, because of the darkness. You may probably feel that you are speaking to no one since there is little feedback-except for some voices or laughter.
• Don't, don't involve in any kind of unpleasant activity few hours before your speech. Unpleasant I mean anything that would disturb your mind unless you have a strong will to ignore things. (I had to call someone to become normal after an argument with one of my friends).

Note on the MC:
• Apt voice for a MC.
• Lively Comments.

However, please consider the following for future (I wish you read this)
• Please be more creative in your style.
• Don't ever call anyone by their race, group or sect. (Avoid stereotyping).
• Say something nice or positive about everyone.

There is a risk in being too lively or friendly in Public Speech like emceeing. Just be careful.

When I reached home, I was wondering how true is the statement about public speaking. 'The Speech that I wanted to deliver, the one I delivered, the one I could have delivered'. ( by someone, sorry I forgot the name)

Bits:
• June said I looked extremely good yesterday.
• Stephen asked me if he could carry me to the stage.
• The Show was quite OK. Can bring in more varieties for future events.
• I wonder when we will change our Asian punctuality.
• Wonderful effort by some. I could see the stress and the satisfaction after the event.

My Speech:
"The greatest happiness on earth lies in making others happy"
I am impressed to see these young ambitious men who are making their life meaningful by bringing smile on the faces of the less fortunate, amidst of all the distractions that this world could offer.

Charity. Charity is a virtue in its essence. Charity is often perceived as a donation or offering to less fortunate or under fortunate. Charity has different names: philanthropy, benevolence, altruism, magnanimity and so on.

But, to me, it is simple giving. Give anything that is worth giving. Give them whatever possible, money, cloths, education, help, a shoulder, and most importantly your time. You will be remembered for ever. …. At the end of the day, we are not judged by the number of certificates that we received, or by the number of awards or medals, neither the promotions nor positions that speak of us. But it is the number of lives we have touched. That is what going to define us humans.

We have a wrong conception of charity. Donating when you have more, donating when you sin. Donating someone so that you will get blessings for your future, etc, etc. No, give just for giving sake and not expecting anything in return.

And, don’t feel proud in giving. As the great poet Galil Gibran says ‘See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving" also as the saying goes..Your left hand should not know what your right hand is giving.

It is not what you give or how much you give, but it the thought of giving itself. And give unconditionally.

Public manners...

Last evening, while I was stepping of out of a nearby supermarket, I saw a car with four foreigners. Two girls and two boys. After dropping the girls off, the car was about to start, I heard a noise and turned towards them. They were talking and laughing in a high pitch. So? Wait. Soon I saw one of the girls holding her sandal in her right hand and was trying to hit the boys with a loud laughter. Immediately she got everybody’s attention.

Embarrassed by the scene, I scanned through the people around the place. Almost everyone was either shocked or felt unease.

I could sense that they were having fun over something. Fine, it is good, but not to this level. Speaking aloud in public place like supermarket itself is considered as a bad manner in some culture. Nothing much to say about showing sandals. Showing sandals to anyone for that matter is an act of indecency. You are in a foreign land. You must behave well. Your actions speak for you, to some extent, for your culture and for your country too.

You don’t have to be Roman, be a human, please.

Good days ahead???

Good days ahead?

I am careless, very careless. My Dad, sisters, and some of my friends have been warning me many times about my scattered things all over the house. These days, Nandhu has joined them. But I was sure, very sure, that I will not lose anything. And I did not, until something happened to me two months ago.

It was a rainy afternoon. I was very hungry after my class. Since it was a cold weather, I thought of having soup for my lunch. So I decided to go home. I walked up to take my scooty; I changed my mind and wanted to walk. After few steps, I paused for a while. Something told me to take my bike, and so I turned back and walked towards my bike. But I changed my mind for the second time, ignoring that something, I walked home.

I could hardly see anyone on the road; it was past 1.00 in the afternoon. It was a cold and perfect weather for a walk. While walking I was preoccupied as usual, I hardly noticed two men in yellow jackets in a bike passed by me. In a fraction of second, I heard a bike approaching me from the back and I heard a male voice asking me something. I turned towards them to answer; in a wink of an eye, they grabbed my long chain and rode away. The rest was news. (It was on the Borneo post. Good for me, my name was not mentioned!) And for the next few days, that was the talk for my colleagues. It was not about the chain, it was about me; they couldn’t believe it happened to me. That’s all.

That was the very first time I lost something in front of my eyes.
Three weeks ago, one Saturday afternoon, we were having lunch in my room while watching a movie on the star. It was quite late, almost 4.00 in the evening. I received a call from my sister who is in India. The moment I heard her voice, I knew something was not right. The following Monday I left for India.

It was a Friday evening, ten days back; I was sitting in front of an ICU with my relatives in Chennai. I received a call from Kuching. Somebody broke into our house and into my room. That’s the real shock to me. We were careless in many things. But I, or we, never thought this would happen to US. Fortunately, nothing much of worth was lost except for some cash.

In a row, one after another, things happened to me in a short span of time. Once again, I became the talk for my colleagues. Some of my colleagues and friends were worried and concerned about me and said that this would be the end of my bad time, and perhaps it’s time for some good change. This evening while walking down to the lobby, I bumped into a fellow Indian who also echoed the very same.

There was conviction in their voice. And, I take this as a prophecy. After all, who doesn’t want a good change? Amen.