The Ramen Girl

Though afternoon nap is believed to be refreshing, in my case, it is unwelcoming, mostly. It's not what you think. I don't get scary premonitions. But it is the blankness of the mind. Zombi sort of thing.

The only reason is, my blankness will bring haunting questions in my mind. Questions, questions and questions. Almost about everything. My past, present and future. And it leaves me with no concrete answer, as usual.

Today, after lunch, I watched a movie " The Ramen Girl" on the star. It's about an American girl who is abandoned by her boyfriend in the city of Tokyo, totally with little hope. Finally she finds her own way to be a part of the Japanese culture. The interesting thing in the movie is, she wants to learn to cook the Ramen noodles which is believed to be a blessing and she becomes a successor for a Japanese Restaurant owner.

Somehow, I found there was a part of me in her-identification of Self. The self which lost its vision, and the search, which, eventually gave way for circumstances to win. She was a PH.D student, ended up with cooking noodles. I remember when my father scolded me when I gave him an idea of opening a restaurant. For him, Prestige matters. I understand him totally.

After I woke up from my nap, I felt the emptiness. I planned to do few things this evening. I don't know if I could. This usually happens after a nap in the afternoon. Sometimes, you want to get out of your somberness, sometimes you force yourself, and at times you let it go and linger.

This evening, the air was filled with an echo from the movie, "along the way of my life, I forgot what I wanted". I wonder, if I could remember everything or, at least, a few?