Motivation without Motivation - A paradox..

Have you ever tried to motivate people when you yourself need motivation? It happened to me yesterday.

When Sunday and I planned for this week's toastmasters meeting, I decided to give a speech, last project in the manual. The objective is to motivate and inspire my audience. Well...Did I motivate?

There is too much pressure in the air. One after another.  Amidst of this, my routine. To add, I was wondering a topic for my 'Motivational Speech'. I summoned my front seat colleague and Mo for ideas. Mr Tay was more into philosophical mode and we couldn't help but ended up discussing about self and the other, known and the unknown. Mo was on Discipline. He insisted, discipline and values are lacking in today's world.  I liked both, but my mind refused to buy those. Meantime, I worked on few topics. Everything was vague. "The power of Self" my original plan, but was countered by Mr Tay, so I dropped. "Value of values" dropped again. Though the concept of both was fine, I couldn't rest on a single theme. It was time for the meeting.

The guests cum evaluators arrived the conference room.  Mr Dunstan was my speech evaluator. I was thinking (superb was I) of a topic until 5 minutes before the meeting. He looked at me with a smile. I got it, of course.

'Life is worth living', the debater in me asked, "why is it not worth living?" (later Mr Chan mentioned the same in his evaluation) but still, that's what popped up my mind when I wrote down the title.

Nothing much about the speech- it was ordinary than usual. I just had two points for 15 minutes(are you kidding?), and unusually  I took the stopwatch with me. It was 9 minutes when I exhausted my two points.Fast enough, I sensed, my subconscious mind was busy formulating ideas while the conscious mind was speaking.  I managed, and I knew I would. I reached 18 minutes.

Mr Dunstan Chan was very soft in his evaluation, as far as I could see. I know, he had a lot to say...  :)

• I have all the technicalities for a speaker but ........ I know, the fire, the punch was missing. 
• Public speaking is an extended conversation. I liked it, but I felt mine was an extended table topic. 
• It was more of a philosophical discourse - agreed. What to do sir, when everything fails, philosophize..(from a novel I read)  
• Vagueness...yeah..its reflection of the current state of mind. Sorry about it.

Mr Leslie commented that I have simplified my usage of English - localized. I realize. Lately, my thinking is impaired....

This evening, before I left, I received an honest feedback in the form of question- Sentha, you were not prepared yesterday, were you? I smiled. Yeah, I understand, its OK, it happens,  and a smile back .  

Should we motivate others when we ourselves need motivation? Yes and No. And I should use the tips that I mentioned in my speech- goals, choices and associating with the right people. 

I am resilient, by nature. I know I will get up. I just hope I don't take too long, else, it will be too late,(to some extend, its already) as I mentioned. There is something else I may need, which I left unsaid - Change.