Bits of today...

You are too honest
This morning, I didn't expect that I would catch up with a colleague for a cup of coffee and get updated news. I was wondering few things and he said that I am too honest and can never expect integrity in people,at least in workplace. But I wonder - why not? But I know - am paying too much. I can't be helped.

Astro - customer service
Due to my long absence from Kuching,  Astro bill was unpaid and the service was disconnected for two to three days, and I couldn't be bothered about neither the payment nor  watching TV.

Suddenly I felt I missed BBC and I made the payment yesterday afternoon expecting the line to be connected. After waited for one day,  I called Astro when I came home for lunch. The lady confirmed few things  and assured me that the line would be reconnected within 3 hours from the time I called her. I put the receiver down and turned towards my laptop to do something and I heard the TV speaking. I was really surprised. That was quick, very quick, less than 3 minutes.

My Scooty
It was almost 8 months since my scooty needed a service after my ex colleague fell down into one of the widest drainage in Stampin with my scooty, I had been thinking, thinking, and thinking of getting it repaired. Last weekend, my friend found out that the back tyre went flat. I couldn't get it to the shop to get replaced. (couldn't be bothered again?) And, this afternoon, I was almost left with no choice but to force myself to leave my scooty with the mechanic. I was told to get it back around 3 or 5, was advised not to be late because the shop would be closed early today.(CNY preparation!)

I left my office at 5 and while walking to the shop I remembered I forgot to get something from the office. To go back or to proceed to the shop - a second of dilemma. I went back to office. While walking out to the shop, Margaret said that she would drop me and we found out the shop was closed. Then she dropped me home.

I planned to shop briefly tonight. Now, at home.

Blog
I always like to read Mitch's blog. She has a unique style-conversational. Yet to comment. She has been my inspiration for starting blog and designing too. I spent one full hour this evening to give a new look. To some extent- I did.

Just managed to read Amitabh Bachachn's blog. Interesting. Its not about him and his life. A blog is more than words, more than entries, more than language.  If you can't get it, don't worry.

Nap
Nap in the evening or in the afternoon is refreshing - perhaps for you. I napped for 1 hour. I thought of walking up to Wanjia to buy and to walk. I felt very tired when I woke up - the house was quite except the tickling of the clock.

Very long time back I read it in a Tamil novel that to day is another day. In a way - yes. The same routine, same people, same encounters, same reactions, same everything - but different too. Paradox of life?

I still have few more hours for the day. I just want to catch up with Star Movies, BBC, chat with my friend and walking. I don't know. I am hungry - very. And tired. Too tired - to cook, to walk, to watch, and .....could be my high heals? or could it be the exhaustion of my mind? I don't know- don't want to know either.

And, here comes tomorrow - will it be an another day?

Motivation without Motivation - A paradox..

Have you ever tried to motivate people when you yourself need motivation? It happened to me yesterday.

When Sunday and I planned for this week's toastmasters meeting, I decided to give a speech, last project in the manual. The objective is to motivate and inspire my audience. Well...Did I motivate?

There is too much pressure in the air. One after another.  Amidst of this, my routine. To add, I was wondering a topic for my 'Motivational Speech'. I summoned my front seat colleague and Mo for ideas. Mr Tay was more into philosophical mode and we couldn't help but ended up discussing about self and the other, known and the unknown. Mo was on Discipline. He insisted, discipline and values are lacking in today's world.  I liked both, but my mind refused to buy those. Meantime, I worked on few topics. Everything was vague. "The power of Self" my original plan, but was countered by Mr Tay, so I dropped. "Value of values" dropped again. Though the concept of both was fine, I couldn't rest on a single theme. It was time for the meeting.

The guests cum evaluators arrived the conference room.  Mr Dunstan was my speech evaluator. I was thinking (superb was I) of a topic until 5 minutes before the meeting. He looked at me with a smile. I got it, of course.

'Life is worth living', the debater in me asked, "why is it not worth living?" (later Mr Chan mentioned the same in his evaluation) but still, that's what popped up my mind when I wrote down the title.

Nothing much about the speech- it was ordinary than usual. I just had two points for 15 minutes(are you kidding?), and unusually  I took the stopwatch with me. It was 9 minutes when I exhausted my two points.Fast enough, I sensed, my subconscious mind was busy formulating ideas while the conscious mind was speaking.  I managed, and I knew I would. I reached 18 minutes.

Mr Dunstan Chan was very soft in his evaluation, as far as I could see. I know, he had a lot to say...  :)

• I have all the technicalities for a speaker but ........ I know, the fire, the punch was missing. 
• Public speaking is an extended conversation. I liked it, but I felt mine was an extended table topic. 
• It was more of a philosophical discourse - agreed. What to do sir, when everything fails, philosophize..(from a novel I read)  
• Vagueness...yeah..its reflection of the current state of mind. Sorry about it.

Mr Leslie commented that I have simplified my usage of English - localized. I realize. Lately, my thinking is impaired....

This evening, before I left, I received an honest feedback in the form of question- Sentha, you were not prepared yesterday, were you? I smiled. Yeah, I understand, its OK, it happens,  and a smile back .  

Should we motivate others when we ourselves need motivation? Yes and No. And I should use the tips that I mentioned in my speech- goals, choices and associating with the right people. 

I am resilient, by nature. I know I will get up. I just hope I don't take too long, else, it will be too late,(to some extend, its already) as I mentioned. There is something else I may need, which I left unsaid - Change. 

The more, the merrier..

The more, the merrier. Yeah, more money, more clothes, more friends - more is certainly welcome. But, it is ridiculous to find out someone having MORE friends (2,000 and more) on face book.

And, I understand that people are wanting to add more and more friends on the list. Is it a credential? I wonder.

Perplexed was I when I found out that, say,  A befriended D who is totally a stranger to A but a friend of B who is a friend of A. How could anyone possibly befriend someone who is no way familiar to him/her and what could possibly be the cause for adding strangers as friends on face book?

A UK based research says, that a human mind can possibly remember maximum of 150 friends, and it is totally impossible to remember 1000 friends. It also says that communication takes place within a small circle of friends and not with everyone. You can notice, when you post something on your wall, its always the same friends post their comments to you, and seldom you get a comment from a friend who is silent all this while. In other words, only few friends really are looking forward to know about us and they like to take part a certain kind of role in what we do. The rest? - they don't care. Well, my point is, when they don't care, what is the point of having them on the list? Of course, there are some exceptions who just entertain themselves by reading others' posts.

That's one's choice. Nothing much to say.

Last week, I removed few friends? from the list. Oh...no, I was not bad....I was just tiding up my place. A tip which I read few months back.  'Effective ways to keep your room clean - discard the things that you don't use it for more than six months'. Though it was meant to be for objects, I thought there was nothing wrong in applying this when comes to people(some).

Acquaintances are certainly different from friends. Not all friends are intimate enough to share your ideas, views, issues and to communicate with you. Strangers are not to be mentioned at all.

And, its time for me to tidy up the place again. Hope you won't get upset ;) !

Beyond Facebooking....

One of the few things that I was forced to do was facebooking. And of course, the credit goes to my debaters. In the beginning it was difficult and later on it became as handy as any other mode of communication, with some differences in features. 


In the beginning I too was a bit excited about this new phenomena which dominates the world in the way it connects people. And, Facebook was not an exception in evolving, and in the course of evolution, loosing its very essence, unfortunately, by giving too much room for face bookers to express themselves, sometimes too explicitly. 


I observed, rather, I am still observing quite a lot, as much as I can do a behavioural study about facebookers. With an exception of few, most of the facebookers miss one important thing: NETIQUETTE.


Right from the status (whats on your mind) until photos, boxes, almost everything is more of public announcement which eventually goes for public scrutiny. I cannot forget AQ's update almost every 2 seconds. Of course, he was sarcastic trying to prove a point. Sometime in the past, there was an update on everything someone (she) was doing and I was expecting her to say that she was going to the ladies and taking shower, etc,. Why on earth one would like the whole world know what she or he is doing, where he or she is going and so on?  The funniest part is friends of them give thumbs up and what not comments! 


We, the debaters, always being ourselves, even put few funny updates, and not to be surprised, we received comments we expected. 


Let us explore few things: 

• Addiction - Don't be surprised if face book makes you addicted. Somebody said, wake up face book - eat face book - wash face book -  class face book - play face book - sleep face book - and again, wake up with face book. In other words, there is no life in its real sense. All you do is on face book. To quote Zay, "it is sad". Why don't you get out and meet real people and make friends? I hope the society is not deprived, yet.
• Status - some are motivational - make you think,  some really make you smile, whereas some make you laugh, hysterically though, and some are religious preaching (no offence please!) and some are revengeful. While others are desperate to be heard.   No status -  I am sure they don't care about others and  they just watch the world and entertain themselves. Cool. 
• Photos - virtual album. Good. But wait.  A friend of mine told me that a friend of his friend posted a photo when she was taking bath. Later I happened to see the photo. My head was spinning for a while. God, Save this world. 
• Martial status: I came across three interesting cases; single, married and complicated. How could a person who is with few girls or boys be single? Of course yes - on face book. Also, a single announces that he/she is relationship? Another interesting case is: single man is married. Complicated relationship - you are either in a relationship or not. Aren't you the one making it complicated? 
• Language : A very serious issue on a public platform such as face book. All the available unparliamentary four letters. No public decorum or decency. Perhaps, they should consider consulting a therapist or psychiatrist.
• Not to forget that there are some personalities with identity crises. Confusion confounded?  

As someone was saying, let us hope technology is not breeding a violent, abnormal and deprived generation. Mark Zukerberg would not have imagined that Facebook will serve as a window to ventilate mixed emotions.

It's not what you think who you are, but it is what you are. Image, image and image.  Being too expressive may lead to lose your face on facebook.

And, if you say you don't care, go look at yourself in the mirror. You know you are pretending.

Bored, I am.

Today is probably one of the very few days I was bored. Literally I didn't do anything, or I couldn't do anything. I started my day with a bit of unusual irritation, made few phone calls and fixed few things.

Had something in the name of lunch around 3.30pm and tried to watch TV but closed my eyes trying to sleep. After few minutes of rolling, I just got out of bed planning to watch a movie. How long one can sit in front of TV and internet? and how long one can read? By the by, since I had difficulty in reading lately, I got specs which is giving me uncomfortable feeling. I heard it will take sometime to 'get used' with it. So reading for sometime is ruled out.

I haven't got any planner and a calender for this year (I wasn't used to this planner and calender thingy when I was in India and as the Head somehow they become unavoidable) so I decided to go to Spring and had a plan of watching a movie if possible.  I started to walk to take a bus. I took a different direction  from the one I usually take and I was waiting for a bus. I couldn't even find a taxi. I was no longer in the mood for Spring. I changed direction. Got some veggies at choice, walked back home.

Grace was surprised and started laughing at me when I was opening the gate. She wasn't done with her washing session. She asked if we could dine out. Later we cancelled. I ended up with soup. Oh..how sad...

We are yet to get the Debating spirit. And again, only God knows when my 'dear' debaters will be ready.(it seems they forgot the next month competition). No debate practice. No Toastmasters meetings. No temple.  The long break has given me a selective amnesia almost about everything that I used to do.

In between, I switched off the TV and laptop many times. Walked up and down many times.  Tried to read a book and managed two chapters. And now with this notes. I might take a walk again.

By the by, how on earth there are people who sit and do nothing making their life very meaningful?

Life still goes on...but how?

Last week, when I was waiting at LCCT  to fly back to Kuching, I met one of my students. She was also waiting for the same flight. I taught her 3 years back. I was surprised that she could still remember me and she gave me a smile as a reply.

We were catching up with old updates - her friends, family, study, future plan and also about her boyfriend. From her conversation I understood that she left her boy friend. (I don't know who left who and I don't want to know also).Shrugging her shoulders she said, "its OK miss...I am fine. Life still goes on". I was bit surprised, with few things.

Life goes on.

I am getting used with this statement very often nowadays. How possible it is to take every loss lightly?

When you miss someone or when you loose someone, (I don't mean just boy friend girl friend relationship alone) life will go on the same way it was when that someone does not mean anything to you. And, I don't think this is a sign of being confident or being courageous to face life.

Are we planting the seeds of non commitment towards one another? or are we trying to escape from conscience in the name of practicality?

Life may go on better if you are lucky..only if...

Whatever, Life still will go on, but may not be the way you wanted or it was meant to be....

Mhumm..life still goes on....I wonder-how?!

ICTL 2009

Conferences, Seminars provide an engaging platform for exchanging ideas in any field. Presenting papers, publishing articles are so much important in my field since they add credibility.

I presented a paper three years ago and I couldn't do anymore for few reasons.  Besides, I am more of a free writer.  Last year ICTL 2009 was organised by our group, I didn't want to miss this opportunity and so I presented a paper.

My paper was about my own experience that I wondered in few of my classes. (will be a detailed blog on that separately).

The conference took place for three days. And all the three days, I felt I was in a different world - a world full of knowledge seekers, scholars, and experts. At the end of the conference I took a resolution that I must attend once a year to keep me with the spirit.

Bits:

• The food was good (variety) and the break was too close to each session. 
• Some of the sessions were useful.
• I liked the workshop on critical thinking. (I am teaching the paper). The facilitator was very cheerful and didn't give up until the end.
• I liked the keynote speeches. (sad, I missed one :( )
• I met few fellow Presenters from India.
• One of the presenters argued that it was   difficult to teach literature in rural schools. My dear, its not the case. It's so simple to teach literature in rural schools or in any schools for that matter.
• Another presenter asked irrelevant question if we had lunch, etc. I still didn't the gist of his presentation.
• The organizers were helpful and the arrangement was almost perfect. 

With this, I am waiting to attend / present my next paper this year....

now leave you with few photos...