Good days ahead???

Good days ahead?

I am careless, very careless. My Dad, sisters, and some of my friends have been warning me many times about my scattered things all over the house. These days, Nandhu has joined them. But I was sure, very sure, that I will not lose anything. And I did not, until something happened to me two months ago.

It was a rainy afternoon. I was very hungry after my class. Since it was a cold weather, I thought of having soup for my lunch. So I decided to go home. I walked up to take my scooty; I changed my mind and wanted to walk. After few steps, I paused for a while. Something told me to take my bike, and so I turned back and walked towards my bike. But I changed my mind for the second time, ignoring that something, I walked home.

I could hardly see anyone on the road; it was past 1.00 in the afternoon. It was a cold and perfect weather for a walk. While walking I was preoccupied as usual, I hardly noticed two men in yellow jackets in a bike passed by me. In a fraction of second, I heard a bike approaching me from the back and I heard a male voice asking me something. I turned towards them to answer; in a wink of an eye, they grabbed my long chain and rode away. The rest was news. (It was on the Borneo post. Good for me, my name was not mentioned!) And for the next few days, that was the talk for my colleagues. It was not about the chain, it was about me; they couldn’t believe it happened to me. That’s all.

That was the very first time I lost something in front of my eyes.
Three weeks ago, one Saturday afternoon, we were having lunch in my room while watching a movie on the star. It was quite late, almost 4.00 in the evening. I received a call from my sister who is in India. The moment I heard her voice, I knew something was not right. The following Monday I left for India.

It was a Friday evening, ten days back; I was sitting in front of an ICU with my relatives in Chennai. I received a call from Kuching. Somebody broke into our house and into my room. That’s the real shock to me. We were careless in many things. But I, or we, never thought this would happen to US. Fortunately, nothing much of worth was lost except for some cash.

In a row, one after another, things happened to me in a short span of time. Once again, I became the talk for my colleagues. Some of my colleagues and friends were worried and concerned about me and said that this would be the end of my bad time, and perhaps it’s time for some good change. This evening while walking down to the lobby, I bumped into a fellow Indian who also echoed the very same.

There was conviction in their voice. And, I take this as a prophecy. After all, who doesn’t want a good change? Amen.

Sales training speech..

Yesterday was the time to test my speaking skills. It was exactly one year since I did my last speech at the Toastmasters Meeting. Yeah. A long gap.

I wasn't sure if I could do my speech until 2.00 pm in the afternoon and the meeting was at 4.00 pm. Once decided, I paused for a while and took a deep breath. Will I make an impression or not?

I believe public speaking is not only about speaking confidently but also about making impression.

So, with the help of a cup of hot coffee, in less than 1 hour I managed to prepare seven slides. Since it is about sales training, I prefered to have it on slides.

I thought I could only hit 10 or 15 minutes, so I discussed with my speech evaluater and we agreed to have the speech for 12 to 15 minitues. Safe.

Mine was the last speech. By the time I finished the introduction and landed on the main topic, I saw the green lights. The red light was there soon and was on until I finish. And I took 20 minutes and 40 seconds. I didn't realise and never thought.

There are two things: I could bring the best out of me under stress. And I have a good skill that I can invest.

Now, no time to pause before my next project, I have to run...if possible, double the speed.

Aerobics and me...

You need energy. You need energy even to burn your calories. Don't ask me why do we have to burn and gain again and burn again. It's like that.

I have not been concentrating on food nor on my vitamins these days. Mind is preoccupied with a more important issue than food and vitamins. I didn't realise that it will affect my health. Today was the fourth day of my class. After the warm up session, I felt week, and my legs started to tremble. Oh man!. I wanted to sit and take a breath atleast for a second, but I changed my mind and continued. That's me.

The hall was full. Some were perfectly following the instructor. Though lost the rhythm, some managed to move their hands and their legs. Nobody bothered about anybody. Complete focus. Some want to loose weight, some want to sweat.

Along the way I noticed, it is very easy to loose focus and get stranded if you look at others not minding your business. I mean exercise. I felt the difference.

There is a lesson about life hidden in aerobics. Do you see anything? I think I just realized and I like it. I mean aerobics.

Didn't care to...

Today was a pretty different sunday for me...I did few things that I usually don't do on sundays. I prefer or I avoid going out on sundays, especially during day.

Since I have started developing interst in aerobics, I wanted to give a try. The timing was too odd. Afternoon 3.30. Who on earth will go outdoors? Definitely not me. But I did. Three reasons: Compulsion, fitness..(look good:)) and the plan of changing my defined sunday.

I realised, first, its very easy to sell anything here if you are smart (in selling). The movements are a mixture of school days exercise, yoga, poco poco, and cha cha. Second, there are people out there making the world move unmindful of the scorching sun, unlike sentha. (What to do: her skin is damn sensitive to sun!)

All of a sudden, I couldn't bother to do few things. A friend of mine messaged me if I could be visited. didn't reply..maybe didn't care to. Another friend of mine messaged me if I could join him for dinner..didn't reply...After reaching home I saw few missed calls..didn't call anyone back..didn't care to?..may be.....

I scream at my only one of my friends whenever my phone is not attended. The answer, most of the time, is: I am away from the phone. And you know the tone and the hidden message..yea I didn't attend your call, so what? cann't be bothered attitude. Cool headed.

Today I was in the same mood. Didn't care to....after all the sky didn't fall on my head....

Soul's search

I have always been alone. Being alone means being myself. And I have been myself since my schooldays. In spite of being surrounded by many good friends, I was surrounded by a sudden solitude. I have the magical gift of being all by myself in the presence of many, even in the company of close one. And I have been even recently. It’s just a part of me.

What would you call this? Search for truth? Search wisdom? Search for Serenity? Or whatever. My soul has been searching for something and something else, always. It never failed to search. An undefined and an endless search.

Whenever I am overwhelmed by something or by someone my soul will withdraw quietly from all its connections and look inside. To some extent my soul was successful in its search. Few times my soul ignored to see inside and let it go just like that.

And a very few times, my soul did not search for anything. Now, when you are not looking for something you may infer like this: you have the thing that you want or there is nothing that you want.

Lately I realized that in my recent past, there was stillness and my soul was in one of its tranquil state.

Did my soul succeed in its search? And, was the attainment of the search real? As an observer of my own life is, the answer is: then it was, now illusion: a deep sigh.

My soul is never tired of its search, never tired of its results.

And I know, in pursuit of the something, my soul may not find its fulfillment to the fullest.

But the saga of the search has started once again, ever before.

Nothing much..

It has been a while. I wasn't very busy but I was occupied with many things. I realised the gap only when I looked at the calender. And some of my friends were asking me for updates.

Sometimes I am tired of updating. Not only updating my blog, but of everything..whats the big deal in life. "Philosophically" speaking life is nothing but a bubble.

There is nothing new in anyone's life, its all open secret. Its our perception that makes the difference.

Now, you wonder, what am I writing here. I donot know. Today I am a kind of out of focus...feel messy..all over...

Fatimah said that I have changed after my trip to Ipoh. June and Mitch, do you see any changes?

We are all changing, evolving every second....every nano second...but we donot change but remains the same. Contradicting? That's life.

Before I make you crazy with this blog...I'll better sign out....

My next station??

In life, we know where we are heading to. Almost. Its like getting into a bus or a train. If you don't know your direction, you wouldn't get into the bus, train, or whatever, in the first place.

Its direction, not destination. Sometimes, for some reasons, some of us, get into a wrong bus or get a ticket to a wrong place.

Or sometimes we tend to look at the distractions and loose the track, totally.

Along the so called journey of my life, I wanted to stop at few stations. I have stopped at few stations. I wanted to stay longer at few stations. I wish I didnot stop at few stations, very few stations.

But it's all about moving....

For an unknown reason, I have stopped here. I donot know how long would I stop here. I wonder how and which would be the next station.....

I will let you know...until then..