Soul's search

I have always been alone. Being alone means being myself. And I have been myself since my schooldays. In spite of being surrounded by many good friends, I was surrounded by a sudden solitude. I have the magical gift of being all by myself in the presence of many, even in the company of close one. And I have been even recently. It’s just a part of me.

What would you call this? Search for truth? Search wisdom? Search for Serenity? Or whatever. My soul has been searching for something and something else, always. It never failed to search. An undefined and an endless search.

Whenever I am overwhelmed by something or by someone my soul will withdraw quietly from all its connections and look inside. To some extent my soul was successful in its search. Few times my soul ignored to see inside and let it go just like that.

And a very few times, my soul did not search for anything. Now, when you are not looking for something you may infer like this: you have the thing that you want or there is nothing that you want.

Lately I realized that in my recent past, there was stillness and my soul was in one of its tranquil state.

Did my soul succeed in its search? And, was the attainment of the search real? As an observer of my own life is, the answer is: then it was, now illusion: a deep sigh.

My soul is never tired of its search, never tired of its results.

And I know, in pursuit of the something, my soul may not find its fulfillment to the fullest.

But the saga of the search has started once again, ever before.