Bored, I am.

Today is probably one of the very few days I was bored. Literally I didn't do anything, or I couldn't do anything. I started my day with a bit of unusual irritation, made few phone calls and fixed few things.

Had something in the name of lunch around 3.30pm and tried to watch TV but closed my eyes trying to sleep. After few minutes of rolling, I just got out of bed planning to watch a movie. How long one can sit in front of TV and internet? and how long one can read? By the by, since I had difficulty in reading lately, I got specs which is giving me uncomfortable feeling. I heard it will take sometime to 'get used' with it. So reading for sometime is ruled out.

I haven't got any planner and a calender for this year (I wasn't used to this planner and calender thingy when I was in India and as the Head somehow they become unavoidable) so I decided to go to Spring and had a plan of watching a movie if possible.  I started to walk to take a bus. I took a different direction  from the one I usually take and I was waiting for a bus. I couldn't even find a taxi. I was no longer in the mood for Spring. I changed direction. Got some veggies at choice, walked back home.

Grace was surprised and started laughing at me when I was opening the gate. She wasn't done with her washing session. She asked if we could dine out. Later we cancelled. I ended up with soup. Oh..how sad...

We are yet to get the Debating spirit. And again, only God knows when my 'dear' debaters will be ready.(it seems they forgot the next month competition). No debate practice. No Toastmasters meetings. No temple.  The long break has given me a selective amnesia almost about everything that I used to do.

In between, I switched off the TV and laptop many times. Walked up and down many times.  Tried to read a book and managed two chapters. And now with this notes. I might take a walk again.

By the by, how on earth there are people who sit and do nothing making their life very meaningful?

Life still goes on...but how?

Last week, when I was waiting at LCCT  to fly back to Kuching, I met one of my students. She was also waiting for the same flight. I taught her 3 years back. I was surprised that she could still remember me and she gave me a smile as a reply.

We were catching up with old updates - her friends, family, study, future plan and also about her boyfriend. From her conversation I understood that she left her boy friend. (I don't know who left who and I don't want to know also).Shrugging her shoulders she said, "its OK miss...I am fine. Life still goes on". I was bit surprised, with few things.

Life goes on.

I am getting used with this statement very often nowadays. How possible it is to take every loss lightly?

When you miss someone or when you loose someone, (I don't mean just boy friend girl friend relationship alone) life will go on the same way it was when that someone does not mean anything to you. And, I don't think this is a sign of being confident or being courageous to face life.

Are we planting the seeds of non commitment towards one another? or are we trying to escape from conscience in the name of practicality?

Life may go on better if you are lucky..only if...

Whatever, Life still will go on, but may not be the way you wanted or it was meant to be....

Mhumm..life still goes on....I wonder-how?!

ICTL 2009

Conferences, Seminars provide an engaging platform for exchanging ideas in any field. Presenting papers, publishing articles are so much important in my field since they add credibility.

I presented a paper three years ago and I couldn't do anymore for few reasons.  Besides, I am more of a free writer.  Last year ICTL 2009 was organised by our group, I didn't want to miss this opportunity and so I presented a paper.

My paper was about my own experience that I wondered in few of my classes. (will be a detailed blog on that separately).

The conference took place for three days. And all the three days, I felt I was in a different world - a world full of knowledge seekers, scholars, and experts. At the end of the conference I took a resolution that I must attend once a year to keep me with the spirit.

Bits:

• The food was good (variety) and the break was too close to each session. 
• Some of the sessions were useful.
• I liked the workshop on critical thinking. (I am teaching the paper). The facilitator was very cheerful and didn't give up until the end.
• I liked the keynote speeches. (sad, I missed one :( )
• I met few fellow Presenters from India.
• One of the presenters argued that it was   difficult to teach literature in rural schools. My dear, its not the case. It's so simple to teach literature in rural schools or in any schools for that matter.
• Another presenter asked irrelevant question if we had lunch, etc. I still didn't the gist of his presentation.
• The organizers were helpful and the arrangement was almost perfect. 

With this, I am waiting to attend / present my next paper this year....

now leave you with few photos...

Impressions...

Life is all about people. Connections and consequences. The impact of one another on one another. I am an observer of life. I observe people around me not just because they take a part in the journey, but because they help me to understand me better.  Some come along with me for short period of time, and some quite long. Along the way, I read their behavior and I predicted many things. I predicted their next move, so it happened. I let few things influence me, it happened. I let few things affect me, so it happened. All without them knowing.

In my short lived life, I have encountered different people. Different at different times fulfilling their given roles and at times, some even volunteering roles, unminding of the suitability of the roles. We never know why and how we encounter them in our life. For some strange reasons, I sense.

Entertaining, serious, innocent, blissful, careless, self centered, utterly selflessness, and many more, finding meaning of their life through various means and ends. Those who mind the ends, don't mind the means and vice versa. Thirst for knowledge, thirst for wisdom, thirst for making some mark in history.  On the contrary,  thirst for short lived pleasure, thirst for materialistic life.  Well, I reserve my comments.

Its like reading books.Some are to be with us for ever, some are to be admired, some are to be followed, some are to be seen from afar, and some are not to befriended, at all. Few years ago, I encountered a person, and I prayed that I should never meet anyone anymore in my entire life.

But, you wouldn't know until you get to know the person in a closer proximity. And your expectation may go wrong, if otherwise happened.

I did learn some lessons along the way, never to be repeated. I believe some people come in our life as a instrument to tell us something- to teach or to remind or whatever.

Well, having said that, had it not been for the differences, don't you think, our life will be bored with similar characters? But still...I really don't know.

Birthday Celeberations.....A big deal?

I don't believe in celebrating birthdays, I mean mine. And I used to wonder what is a big deal in celebrating one's own birthday. But, this year I decided to make it different to compensate last year.(Last year perhaps was the  worst ever in my life!)  


The first birthday which I celebrated, in the sense with cakes and candles, was few hours ago, in the recent past. I was in Ipoh, my uncle(one of my lights) surprised me with a cake and a small gathering. Guess what? That was the first time I cut cake on my birthday! I remember I blew the candles before making a  wish. By the by, why do you have to make a wish on your birthday? Anyone please!.


Every year in Kuching, I am put in a place where not celebrating is almost next to impossible. Payal, Ayyapan Sir, (Sir, I am still waiting for my Almond bar!) Chris, Sudha and, of course, my dear debaters filled my birthdays and my memories which continues until today. 


This year, I really wanted to avoid and planned to be out of Kuching. But, things won 't happen as we plan! Someone wished me the previous day, first wish:), kutti started asking me like a week before(even instructed me to get sweets), Margaret insisted that I made sure I enjoyed the day and not to worry about making the world happy, and Fatimah had plans for my birthday. As a sign of respecting their feelings, I changed my mind.  For one good reason. I mean something to them. 


Yeah, pretty much. I mean a lot to few, I mean so much to some, I mean something to some, I mean nothing to some. I accept all. You can't mean everything to everyone, can you?

While attending calls and replying text messages, I was thinking that birthday celebrations do mean something, and I am lucky to be around with friends like this. I could only care less for the rest. Actually speaking, birthday celebrations are not so much about wishes, cakes, cards but it is pretty much about the thought, thought of someone, thought of making that someone happy. And the real happiness lies in making your loved ones happy, if not the whole world which you can't for that matter. 

Divine and Michael visited me not knowing it was my birthday - co incidence! Fatima came with her crew and with a big cake. Later, some of us went for a movie.

A birthday song over the phone from the far end of the world, and my cute nieces wishes,  students visit made my day.

I respect those respect me, the rest? I leave it you. No regrets!  I have miles to go before I sleep and promises to keep, so I can't afford.

My new identity ...African..

I was given a new identity - African. Am I?

Just came back from  Toastmasters meeting at AZAM Club. It was unusually long, the meeting was over almost at 10.00 pm. We were having coffee at the open place outside the meeting hall. Kym's daughter and I were having a chat. A young guy appeared and stood in front of us. We looked at him questioningly. He introduced himself and asked me," Where are you from?" "India" "Oh, if not for the (he pointed at my forehead - 3rd eye) and your outfit(salwar) it would be hard to believe you are Indian"  Huh? We both looked at him surprisingly. I cleared his doubt, "I am from India, not .........." "Yes, I know." he didn't let me finish my sentence.

I was intrigued.  He said that I looked like African. Interesting! Of course, I do have students-friends from Africa. Have they influenced me?!

Cut the long conversation short - my accent, my complexion, my presentation- the way I carry myself, (I was the General Evaluator)gave him the conclusion.   He continued, more specifically I looked someone from Jamaica or Yemen..etc. He said I look fairer for South Indian but not so fair to be a North Indian. Really? I wish he could visit India once.

We were just talking and in the middle of the conversation Alex joined and called me white Indian.

There is no big deal in me being an African or Indian or whatever. It doesn't make any difference as long as I am human, in every sense of its word.

Deepavali Celebration....

Like happiness, celebration is a state of mind. When you are happy, the energy flows. It multiplies your happiness. And Celebration  becomes meaningful.

Yesterday was Deepavali. This year I wanted to celebrate? it in a way I wanted, which is, not to celebrate. Few reasons which I leave to myself.

Celebrations bring magical memories back to our life.  My first Deepavali was, if I could remember, when I was somewhere 5,6, or 7. I can't exactly remember the age. But I remember the moment. Still fresh, very fresh in my memory. There are many Deepavalis came and went, every year it was different. It was different in the way we approached it, in the way we celebrated it.

We should never skip celebrating Deepavali, according to our beliefs. Even the poorest people, who can't afford to buy a lot of things to mark the celebration, will find a way to celebrate it in the simplest form, at least. There must be some sort of activities in the name of celebration.

This is my sixth year Deepavali in Kuching. The first year here was supposed to be alone, if not for my house mate. She wanted both of us to celebrate it with a fellow Indian family. Though I was not so keen in the idea, I agreed and we celebrated with our friends. After all, without people, where is the celebration?
And after that, almost every year, I went to Ipoh. There would be always be either dinner, lunch or high tea at my place. Last year, I think we invited almost up to one hundred.

Yesterday afternoon, while I was fixing something in the room, Ika visited me, followed by Mo and later by Mitch. I prepared simple dinner. This morning, my friend asked me, while we were chatting, if I celebrated or was it another day.

Yeah, it would have very much been another day, had it not been for my debaters!