My new identity ...African..

I was given a new identity - African. Am I?

Just came back from  Toastmasters meeting at AZAM Club. It was unusually long, the meeting was over almost at 10.00 pm. We were having coffee at the open place outside the meeting hall. Kym's daughter and I were having a chat. A young guy appeared and stood in front of us. We looked at him questioningly. He introduced himself and asked me," Where are you from?" "India" "Oh, if not for the (he pointed at my forehead - 3rd eye) and your outfit(salwar) it would be hard to believe you are Indian"  Huh? We both looked at him surprisingly. I cleared his doubt, "I am from India, not .........." "Yes, I know." he didn't let me finish my sentence.

I was intrigued.  He said that I looked like African. Interesting! Of course, I do have students-friends from Africa. Have they influenced me?!

Cut the long conversation short - my accent, my complexion, my presentation- the way I carry myself, (I was the General Evaluator)gave him the conclusion.   He continued, more specifically I looked someone from Jamaica or Yemen..etc. He said I look fairer for South Indian but not so fair to be a North Indian. Really? I wish he could visit India once.

We were just talking and in the middle of the conversation Alex joined and called me white Indian.

There is no big deal in me being an African or Indian or whatever. It doesn't make any difference as long as I am human, in every sense of its word.

Deepavali Celebration....

Like happiness, celebration is a state of mind. When you are happy, the energy flows. It multiplies your happiness. And Celebration  becomes meaningful.

Yesterday was Deepavali. This year I wanted to celebrate? it in a way I wanted, which is, not to celebrate. Few reasons which I leave to myself.

Celebrations bring magical memories back to our life.  My first Deepavali was, if I could remember, when I was somewhere 5,6, or 7. I can't exactly remember the age. But I remember the moment. Still fresh, very fresh in my memory. There are many Deepavalis came and went, every year it was different. It was different in the way we approached it, in the way we celebrated it.

We should never skip celebrating Deepavali, according to our beliefs. Even the poorest people, who can't afford to buy a lot of things to mark the celebration, will find a way to celebrate it in the simplest form, at least. There must be some sort of activities in the name of celebration.

This is my sixth year Deepavali in Kuching. The first year here was supposed to be alone, if not for my house mate. She wanted both of us to celebrate it with a fellow Indian family. Though I was not so keen in the idea, I agreed and we celebrated with our friends. After all, without people, where is the celebration?
And after that, almost every year, I went to Ipoh. There would be always be either dinner, lunch or high tea at my place. Last year, I think we invited almost up to one hundred.

Yesterday afternoon, while I was fixing something in the room, Ika visited me, followed by Mo and later by Mitch. I prepared simple dinner. This morning, my friend asked me, while we were chatting, if I celebrated or was it another day.

Yeah, it would have very much been another day, had it not been for my debaters!

Education in Competition - is it healthy?

Education, in its essence is to impart knowledge. Wherever you are and whoever you are. And the fundamental principal of education is to eliminate differences, difference of all kinds.  It remains an unanswered question to me the way the higher learning institutions treat each other, here- as competitors.

This Monday, one of my fellow Toastmasters mailed me asking if I could help her in a Public Speaking Workshop which is organised by a leading college, this weekend. Though, there is an important festival on the specified date, I offered my help, simply because it is Public Speaking. But still, knowing the organizer to some extent, I was expecting some sort of reaction in my involvement.

The next day afternoon, I laughed when I opened my inbox. Exactly, as I expected, the organizer had mailed me expressing the inability to accept my offer since I am from a competitor college and feeling very sorry for the inconvenience, etc., etc..Wait, I am not loosing anything.

Where is the spirit of exchanging knowledge, experience, and the expertise? I am surprised by the narrow mindedness of some of the so called educators.

Back home, we find a sense of pride, satisfaction and meaning in helping each other. We even go to the extent  of helping newly coming colleges in setting up all the facilities. I mean all.  Yeah, there is competition but in a healthier way.

Somehow, the intellectual part of my mind is unwilling to accept this in the name of culture.

Is it a sense of insecurity?  If so, we will have issues in producing open minded younger generations. The society and the country will suffer from inadequate intellectuals.

I hope not.

A rainy evening in Kuching...

Rain, in this hot, hazy weather is so welcoming. I like rain. Its so different here. The difference is not in the rain, don't be confused. But in the impression it leaves after the downpour.

Few things that surprises me:

• You can't find pools here and there on the roads blocking the traffic. Excellent drainage system. It would be hard to believe if someone tells you that it rained so heavily and the roads were flooded. I can only wish that the drainage system really works like this in Indian roads, especially in Chennai. For ever, there will be Public Works Department digging roads for no reason. Unimaginable and unbearable.  If I am not wrong, Chandikar  has a perfect system, the only city which was constructed after a plan. The rest? God knows, some are still developed..its present progressive tense. 
• People: They don't really care whether it rains or doesn't rain, except people like some of us. Since they know the rain, or they are used with this unpredictable timetable,( wait, this unpredictable is becoming predictable these days. When you know the weather is unpredictable, you are predicting that it is unpredictable!) So, they are onto their missions. 
• Astro: Since it is raining, since I am locked up inside, I have to end up with two things: Internet and Astro. But still, I am not sure of one thing - technology.  In three months time, I changed the router twice. And TM Net takes its own sweet time to fix it. So, switched off. Now left with only one option- Astro. And guess what? 'Services currently unavailable' this is what you will see on the screen. Why is this interruption in the telecast?  How come there is no latest technology to do something about this? I am really wondering. I couldn't watch the full movie "Things we lost in the fire" though I got the story line.  Its a different case in India. The interruption is in the cable itself..trees falling down.. power cut...etc, etc... 

Eventually the rain stopped around 8.00 pm, as I predicted. I took a long walk to feel the rain and its chillness. Of course it was refreshing, very.

My table topic Speech at Azam - Who is the light of my life?

Azam Toastmasters Club is my favorite club in Kuching. I have  been missing the club meetings at Azam for sometime.

This morning I received a call from one of the Azam members, a respectful lady who I admire, for her courage, confidence and straight to the point- directness. I like her speech evaluation. Very analytical, she wouldn't care to roast you in front of a group of people. She said she missed me. (sounds nice) And I myself felt that I should get out to get fresh air. So I went. I wasn't intending to do any speech or any role, it was just a sudden plan.

When  I entered, Usman, our MBA student was giving his speech. After his speech was the break followed by table topic session. Sue was the table topic master, so I expected a nice session. It was, at the end.

Steven was given a topic on Solar Eclipse. He has a unique way of approaching table topics. He could be so imaginary beyond any one's comprehension He started the story started with Sun,  moved onto Moon and ended up  with moon cake festival. It was really entertaining. The  purpose of table topic is to make people to speak something and if possible make the audience laugh. And he did both.

Next was mine. Who is the light in my life? I took few seconds to figure out. My  mind was working on two things:1. Trying to figure out who is the light and trying to wake up from the evening nap. (golden rule: don't take a nap before any meeting for that matter- Zombie-dangerous) I managed.

Who is the light in  my life? I can't pinpoint one or two who could possibly be the lights in my life.  My dad and mom, obviously. Also, some  friends. They left an unforgettable mark in my life. There are traces of them in me. I am glad and I am fortunate to have some very very good, genuine friends. At every stage, I met one or two. And they mean a lot to me.

My lights? They - Plural.

Do right things, Always?

"Always do right things: this will gratify some and astonish the rest" Mark Twain.  You can find this quote in my office. Two evenings back my debaters came to my office to collect something and one of them read this aloud and said- do right things.

Well, what is right? anything that is not wrong. Then what is wrong? Anything that is not right. Can anyone define right and wrong exactly the way they are? I bet, No. For some wrong is right, and for others right is wrong.

Now, this is not about the definition of right and wrong. But the consequences of being right. Wait, I am there..

• you may have to face a lot of oppositions...
• you will be left alone(in most cases)...
• you will be described as a difficult person....
• you may not find honest feedback or criticisms(remember, criticisms help you to grow, and again, it depends who is criticizing you) 
• and so on...

This is something to do with our ethics, moral principles and values that we hold in our life or which defines our life. And to me, there is no right or wrong. Our actions should no way disturb others. Or at least we must take responsibility of the actions.

Yeah, we can't be always do the right things(Mitch- this is for you and me) when the world is filled with wrong doings, what difference does it make with one person doing the right thing?

But then, before I left my office, I looked at the quote and read it to myself - Do the right things always and let me not care about others....

Relationship is all about...

After much contemplation I am writing this.

Roughly three weeks ago, in one of the busy mornings, I received few text messages from one of the acquaintances, and, as a response my head was spinning for few seconds. I didn’t reply any of the messages, the whole day.

Later in the evening, there was a call from the same number, wanted to talk to me. Over a cup of lemon juice in one of the popular hotels, he said it. And I laughed,  I couldn’t help it.
"Why me?"
"Well, you are brave, outspoken, open minded, good looking for your age and friendly. (don't you know you shouldn't talk about age to ladies?)

How on earth some people have the guts to talk like this to someone whom you do not know? There is no familiarity between us. No friendship was established. Nothing, except for a very few casual talks here and there. All of a sudden from the deep blue sea!  I was shocked and surprised by the audacity and the boldness.  I explained and declined.

Last week, there was an exhibition in the college and I went to have a look at it. I met Divine and Micheal King. They are my debaters. We were talking and somehow the topic landed on relationships.  You should be ready to discuss any topic when you are with Micheal. He can take you from Obama to Greenland and to any possible topic. And so it happened.

This is what I observed from our discussion.
Relationship is fun, time pass, contract, open, convenience(you will find more in my blog on this) and the unbelievable reasons - adventure, obsession, insecurity, loneliness, sadism, and perversion.

Be Aware:

• Simply because you see/saw/ hear/heard a girl with someone doesn't mean she will be fine with you. Mind you. You are NOT that someone. 
• Don't misinterpret boldness, or you will be in trouble. 
• Don't mistake friendship or open mindedness as green signal. 

Gone are the golden days when relationships were healthy and they were the source of encouragement and inspiration to reach higher ambitions in life.

Now? FUN- the magical word behind all the unimaginable, idiotic things happening in the name of relationship.

A friend of mine was defending that age difference doesn’t really matter when comes to have relationship with older women.  He also challenged me that there is no law in the past.  I am not into debate. There is a reason why things are like this. Why do you want to break that law of nature? OK, even otherwise, there must be good intention when involving into a relationship. If you are into it, go ahead and good luck.

While dropping me back home, he argued that we don't have to follow this age sealing simply because it was set and followed all this while. You may be right.  But what is the possibility of commitment and long time relationship? Oh, why do you have to commit when you treat this as your pass time? And the life style of changing your partners every month or every few months?!!

At the end of our conversation, Mike defined relationship as SICK.