Birthday Celeberations.....A big deal?

I don't believe in celebrating birthdays, I mean mine. And I used to wonder what is a big deal in celebrating one's own birthday. But, this year I decided to make it different to compensate last year.(Last year perhaps was the  worst ever in my life!)  


The first birthday which I celebrated, in the sense with cakes and candles, was few hours ago, in the recent past. I was in Ipoh, my uncle(one of my lights) surprised me with a cake and a small gathering. Guess what? That was the first time I cut cake on my birthday! I remember I blew the candles before making a  wish. By the by, why do you have to make a wish on your birthday? Anyone please!.


Every year in Kuching, I am put in a place where not celebrating is almost next to impossible. Payal, Ayyapan Sir, (Sir, I am still waiting for my Almond bar!) Chris, Sudha and, of course, my dear debaters filled my birthdays and my memories which continues until today. 


This year, I really wanted to avoid and planned to be out of Kuching. But, things won 't happen as we plan! Someone wished me the previous day, first wish:), kutti started asking me like a week before(even instructed me to get sweets), Margaret insisted that I made sure I enjoyed the day and not to worry about making the world happy, and Fatimah had plans for my birthday. As a sign of respecting their feelings, I changed my mind.  For one good reason. I mean something to them. 


Yeah, pretty much. I mean a lot to few, I mean so much to some, I mean something to some, I mean nothing to some. I accept all. You can't mean everything to everyone, can you?

While attending calls and replying text messages, I was thinking that birthday celebrations do mean something, and I am lucky to be around with friends like this. I could only care less for the rest. Actually speaking, birthday celebrations are not so much about wishes, cakes, cards but it is pretty much about the thought, thought of someone, thought of making that someone happy. And the real happiness lies in making your loved ones happy, if not the whole world which you can't for that matter. 

Divine and Michael visited me not knowing it was my birthday - co incidence! Fatima came with her crew and with a big cake. Later, some of us went for a movie.

A birthday song over the phone from the far end of the world, and my cute nieces wishes,  students visit made my day.

I respect those respect me, the rest? I leave it you. No regrets!  I have miles to go before I sleep and promises to keep, so I can't afford.

My new identity ...African..

I was given a new identity - African. Am I?

Just came back from  Toastmasters meeting at AZAM Club. It was unusually long, the meeting was over almost at 10.00 pm. We were having coffee at the open place outside the meeting hall. Kym's daughter and I were having a chat. A young guy appeared and stood in front of us. We looked at him questioningly. He introduced himself and asked me," Where are you from?" "India" "Oh, if not for the (he pointed at my forehead - 3rd eye) and your outfit(salwar) it would be hard to believe you are Indian"  Huh? We both looked at him surprisingly. I cleared his doubt, "I am from India, not .........." "Yes, I know." he didn't let me finish my sentence.

I was intrigued.  He said that I looked like African. Interesting! Of course, I do have students-friends from Africa. Have they influenced me?!

Cut the long conversation short - my accent, my complexion, my presentation- the way I carry myself, (I was the General Evaluator)gave him the conclusion.   He continued, more specifically I looked someone from Jamaica or Yemen..etc. He said I look fairer for South Indian but not so fair to be a North Indian. Really? I wish he could visit India once.

We were just talking and in the middle of the conversation Alex joined and called me white Indian.

There is no big deal in me being an African or Indian or whatever. It doesn't make any difference as long as I am human, in every sense of its word.

Deepavali Celebration....

Like happiness, celebration is a state of mind. When you are happy, the energy flows. It multiplies your happiness. And Celebration  becomes meaningful.

Yesterday was Deepavali. This year I wanted to celebrate? it in a way I wanted, which is, not to celebrate. Few reasons which I leave to myself.

Celebrations bring magical memories back to our life.  My first Deepavali was, if I could remember, when I was somewhere 5,6, or 7. I can't exactly remember the age. But I remember the moment. Still fresh, very fresh in my memory. There are many Deepavalis came and went, every year it was different. It was different in the way we approached it, in the way we celebrated it.

We should never skip celebrating Deepavali, according to our beliefs. Even the poorest people, who can't afford to buy a lot of things to mark the celebration, will find a way to celebrate it in the simplest form, at least. There must be some sort of activities in the name of celebration.

This is my sixth year Deepavali in Kuching. The first year here was supposed to be alone, if not for my house mate. She wanted both of us to celebrate it with a fellow Indian family. Though I was not so keen in the idea, I agreed and we celebrated with our friends. After all, without people, where is the celebration?
And after that, almost every year, I went to Ipoh. There would be always be either dinner, lunch or high tea at my place. Last year, I think we invited almost up to one hundred.

Yesterday afternoon, while I was fixing something in the room, Ika visited me, followed by Mo and later by Mitch. I prepared simple dinner. This morning, my friend asked me, while we were chatting, if I celebrated or was it another day.

Yeah, it would have very much been another day, had it not been for my debaters!

Education in Competition - is it healthy?

Education, in its essence is to impart knowledge. Wherever you are and whoever you are. And the fundamental principal of education is to eliminate differences, difference of all kinds.  It remains an unanswered question to me the way the higher learning institutions treat each other, here- as competitors.

This Monday, one of my fellow Toastmasters mailed me asking if I could help her in a Public Speaking Workshop which is organised by a leading college, this weekend. Though, there is an important festival on the specified date, I offered my help, simply because it is Public Speaking. But still, knowing the organizer to some extent, I was expecting some sort of reaction in my involvement.

The next day afternoon, I laughed when I opened my inbox. Exactly, as I expected, the organizer had mailed me expressing the inability to accept my offer since I am from a competitor college and feeling very sorry for the inconvenience, etc., etc..Wait, I am not loosing anything.

Where is the spirit of exchanging knowledge, experience, and the expertise? I am surprised by the narrow mindedness of some of the so called educators.

Back home, we find a sense of pride, satisfaction and meaning in helping each other. We even go to the extent  of helping newly coming colleges in setting up all the facilities. I mean all.  Yeah, there is competition but in a healthier way.

Somehow, the intellectual part of my mind is unwilling to accept this in the name of culture.

Is it a sense of insecurity?  If so, we will have issues in producing open minded younger generations. The society and the country will suffer from inadequate intellectuals.

I hope not.

A rainy evening in Kuching...

Rain, in this hot, hazy weather is so welcoming. I like rain. Its so different here. The difference is not in the rain, don't be confused. But in the impression it leaves after the downpour.

Few things that surprises me:

• You can't find pools here and there on the roads blocking the traffic. Excellent drainage system. It would be hard to believe if someone tells you that it rained so heavily and the roads were flooded. I can only wish that the drainage system really works like this in Indian roads, especially in Chennai. For ever, there will be Public Works Department digging roads for no reason. Unimaginable and unbearable.  If I am not wrong, Chandikar  has a perfect system, the only city which was constructed after a plan. The rest? God knows, some are still developed..its present progressive tense. 
• People: They don't really care whether it rains or doesn't rain, except people like some of us. Since they know the rain, or they are used with this unpredictable timetable,( wait, this unpredictable is becoming predictable these days. When you know the weather is unpredictable, you are predicting that it is unpredictable!) So, they are onto their missions. 
• Astro: Since it is raining, since I am locked up inside, I have to end up with two things: Internet and Astro. But still, I am not sure of one thing - technology.  In three months time, I changed the router twice. And TM Net takes its own sweet time to fix it. So, switched off. Now left with only one option- Astro. And guess what? 'Services currently unavailable' this is what you will see on the screen. Why is this interruption in the telecast?  How come there is no latest technology to do something about this? I am really wondering. I couldn't watch the full movie "Things we lost in the fire" though I got the story line.  Its a different case in India. The interruption is in the cable itself..trees falling down.. power cut...etc, etc... 

Eventually the rain stopped around 8.00 pm, as I predicted. I took a long walk to feel the rain and its chillness. Of course it was refreshing, very.

My table topic Speech at Azam - Who is the light of my life?

Azam Toastmasters Club is my favorite club in Kuching. I have  been missing the club meetings at Azam for sometime.

This morning I received a call from one of the Azam members, a respectful lady who I admire, for her courage, confidence and straight to the point- directness. I like her speech evaluation. Very analytical, she wouldn't care to roast you in front of a group of people. She said she missed me. (sounds nice) And I myself felt that I should get out to get fresh air. So I went. I wasn't intending to do any speech or any role, it was just a sudden plan.

When  I entered, Usman, our MBA student was giving his speech. After his speech was the break followed by table topic session. Sue was the table topic master, so I expected a nice session. It was, at the end.

Steven was given a topic on Solar Eclipse. He has a unique way of approaching table topics. He could be so imaginary beyond any one's comprehension He started the story started with Sun,  moved onto Moon and ended up  with moon cake festival. It was really entertaining. The  purpose of table topic is to make people to speak something and if possible make the audience laugh. And he did both.

Next was mine. Who is the light in my life? I took few seconds to figure out. My  mind was working on two things:1. Trying to figure out who is the light and trying to wake up from the evening nap. (golden rule: don't take a nap before any meeting for that matter- Zombie-dangerous) I managed.

Who is the light in  my life? I can't pinpoint one or two who could possibly be the lights in my life.  My dad and mom, obviously. Also, some  friends. They left an unforgettable mark in my life. There are traces of them in me. I am glad and I am fortunate to have some very very good, genuine friends. At every stage, I met one or two. And they mean a lot to me.

My lights? They - Plural.

Do right things, Always?

"Always do right things: this will gratify some and astonish the rest" Mark Twain.  You can find this quote in my office. Two evenings back my debaters came to my office to collect something and one of them read this aloud and said- do right things.

Well, what is right? anything that is not wrong. Then what is wrong? Anything that is not right. Can anyone define right and wrong exactly the way they are? I bet, No. For some wrong is right, and for others right is wrong.

Now, this is not about the definition of right and wrong. But the consequences of being right. Wait, I am there..

• you may have to face a lot of oppositions...
• you will be left alone(in most cases)...
• you will be described as a difficult person....
• you may not find honest feedback or criticisms(remember, criticisms help you to grow, and again, it depends who is criticizing you) 
• and so on...

This is something to do with our ethics, moral principles and values that we hold in our life or which defines our life. And to me, there is no right or wrong. Our actions should no way disturb others. Or at least we must take responsibility of the actions.

Yeah, we can't be always do the right things(Mitch- this is for you and me) when the world is filled with wrong doings, what difference does it make with one person doing the right thing?

But then, before I left my office, I looked at the quote and read it to myself - Do the right things always and let me not care about others....