03.05.2022 / 4.10 PM
Yeah, whatever, this quietness engulfed her all over her all of a sudden. This few days' break was much needed one. As usual, the first day, she was busy with her household chores. Followed by the ritualistic prayer and lunch on No moon day (Amavasai), she slept well in the afternoon. The kind of sleep she had was equally most wanted. She failed to recall the last time at peace with herself and her surroundings. Perhaps, last year or much before that. She could faintly remember the time. It was followed by her visit to a doctor. She consulted him for her chronic pain. To her shock, the doctor prescribed her only two medicines, half each..one in the morning and another at night.
She couldn't comprehend his words. The doctor swept away all her chronic history and complaints and didn't bother to listen to her anymore. He cut her between her talks and said, "you're physically ok, but you have to take care of your mental health". Huh...what...physically ok???
How could he make a sweeping judgement? But still, as intuition dictated, she started taking the medicines along with a couple of yoga mudras. Gradually she felt better. Quietness followed her, Quietness filled her space.. But again, after sometime, as the routine started, she felt lost.
Now, something is happening or something else is happening. There is pain, chronic pain, physical pain coupled with mental pain.she is not on any medication..but there is calmness. what is happening?
She can feel the difference. She doesn't talk much..she doesn't think much..so quiet as the deep sea....without turbulances...That doesn't mean she freed herself from issues, pressing problems..she has all of them as she had..in fact, now she has more of them...they are insurmountable. But still, there is calmness..incomprehensible calmness. Despite her efforts to find out the reasons or her surprise, she failed to nail it. She is lost in confusion. Yet, she embraced it wholeheartedly. She even enjoys it. The kind of peace it brings is abundance. She is filled with peace, and she allows the peace to take over her and taking a slow pace of life. The duties and responsibilities stretch over in front of her..but still, she takes control over them. One thing at a time!
The uncertainties are extended.....the questions are unanswered...the wait is getting longer... she is plagued by deficiencies and crippled with pain...chronic pain..
And yet, there is calmness! Let her be filled with engulfed with quietude...for now and ever!
